


There's a Snek in the Woods

by PaigePenn, Random-Vore-Enthusiast (Amazionion)



Series: Noodleverse [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), giant/tiny - Fandom, vore - Fandom
Genre: Creativitwins, Fear, GT, Gen, Giant Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Giant Logic | Logan Sanders, Giant Naga, Giant/Tiny, Human Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Human Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Human Deceit | Janus Sanders, Naga Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Naga Logic | Logan Sanders, Naga Morality| Patton Sanders, Naga Vore, Tiny Morality | Patton Sanders, Vore, safe vore, tiny naga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaigePenn/pseuds/PaigePenn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazionion/pseuds/Random-Vore-Enthusiast
Summary: Virgil is a giant naga and a single dad. His son, Logan, is far too curious for his own good.Janus is on a lovely camping trip with his best friends, the Prince twins, and his therapy naga, Patton.Their paths cross, and none of their lives will ever be the same.---A reverse AU ofDanger Noodles, in which the nagas and the humans have been swapped.For anyone curious about scales, Logan is 3x human sized, Virgil is 10x, and Patton is between 1/5th and 1/6th. Patton has the proportionally longest tail, about 10', while Logan's tail is around 50'-60' and Virgil's is over 200'.
Series: Noodleverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962877
Comments: 283
Kudos: 204





	1. Prologue: Logan's Adoption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil becomes a single father. He wasn't planning to become a father, but here he is anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings** : abandonment, brief scenes of gastric brooding (baby protection vore, in a pouch specifically designed for it)
> 
> Minor edits 6/17/2020 to make the egg more like a snake egg and less like a bird egg.

Virgil needed to move. His previous home had become a bit too crowded, a bit too overrun by humans, and he was headed somewhere he could hunt in peace, without having to worry about humans noticing the lack of prey animals and starting to hunt _him_. Where, specifically, he was going, he wasn’t quite sure yet.

Possibly around here. Virgil was deep in the woods now, well away from human civilization.

As he pondered that, slithering between the trees, Virgil came across something he hadn’t expected to see in a place like this: a nest. More specifically, it was the sort of nest a naga would build to lay their eggs in. It had clearly been used for that purpose, too: Virgil could see deflated empty shells inside.

Virgil frowned. Sure, he’d been considering this part of the woods to live in, but he’d hardly consider it the sort of place one would build a _nest_! Virgil was a full-grown adult, large enough that he scarcely had any predators anymore, but eggs? Eggs were incredibly vulnerable, and they’d be hard to protect in a place like this.

He shook his head and was about to continue on when he saw something that made him pause. There was an egg, still whole, in the nest. Virgil slithered closer to get a better look.

It wasn’t all that odd, really, to see unhatched eggs in abandoned naga nests. After all, in the average clutch, only two or three eggs were viable, and the rest decoys to fool predators. It was, after all, dangerous to be an egg. After the viable eggs had hatched, the decoys were simply left behind as often as not. But something about this felt different. 

Something about _this_ egg wouldn’t let Virgil just leave it alone. He set his rucksack aside and carefully pulled the nest open to pick the egg up. It was warm to the touch, and had a certain firmness to it.

Virgil’s eyes widened. This egg was alive. It could hatch.

He glanced around, pulling the egg close to his chest. He looked for any sign of parents, but found none. The only recent tracks were his own, and the shell fragments littering the rest of the nest were dry enough to have been sitting there a few days. The egg had been abandoned.

Virgil looked the nest over again. He could see two empty shells, which meant there must have been two hatchlings. Two hatchlings, and this one late. No wonder its parents had thought it was just another decoy. Two children were enough to raise as it was, waiting for a third they couldn’t be sure would even hatch was inviting trouble. 

He supposed he wouldn’t be leaving it here. Virgil gave a small sigh. He hadn’t _planned_ to become a father yet. Virgil had thought that would wait until he had found a mate, someone he wanted to spend all his time with, someone he wanted to raise children with.

But he couldn’t abandon this egg, not when it had already been abandoned once.

With a soft popping noise, Virgil unhinged his jaw. His throat muscles flexed to close off his stomach and open his brood pouch. He shut his eyes and carefully put the egg in his mouth. Tenderly, taking great care not to tear its shell or squeeze it too hard, Virgil swallowed the egg. He felt it slip down inside him, coming to rest just above his waist. Virgil put his hand over the spot. He’d never used his brood pouch before — again, he’d expected that would wait, and he’d expected its first occupants would be hatchlings, not an egg — and it was an odd feeling. 

Rubbing the spot gently, he muttered, more to himself than his precious cargo, “It’s going to be okay, little buddy. I’ll be your dad now. I’ll keep you safe.”

There was no response, of course. It was an egg. 

“Right, let’s get moving. I should find a nest soon.” He picked up his rucksack and kept moving. 

It was two days before Virgil found a place he thought would be suitable to raise a child. He had worried that the egg might hatch while he was still looking, before he could give it a proper hatching-space. But it seemed that the egg was waiting too. Virgil built a nest, letting his instincts guide him on what materials were best. He placed the egg, surrounding it lovingly with twigs and grass, soft parts toward the shell and its delicate inhabitant, and then he settled down around it and he waited.

Other nagas had partners to hunt for them while they guarded their eggs, and decoys for when they had to go hunting themselves and leave the nest unprotected. Virgil had neither. He hunted a full meal before he placed his egg in the nest, and then he settled down, and he waited.

A naga could last a good while on a full meal, especially if he wasn’t very active. Virgil was prepared to wait as long as it took for his egg to hatch. He worried, though, that the _egg_ might suffer from waiting any longer. It had already been several days since its siblings had hatched; why hadn’t it?

The egg hatched, finally, as the sun dawned on the fourth day after he had found it. Virgil had been dozing on and off through the night, but the instant he heard the soft, tell-tale sound of a bit of shell tearing, he was fully awake.

Virgil opened up his nest to give it space and watched with wide eyes as the shell split. A drop of thick liquid oozed out, and something pushed against the shell from the inside, making it bulge for a moment before it stopped again. The baby was weak, unable to break through. Virgil longed to help, but he feared that if he touched the egg now, he’d risk hurting the vulnerable infant. “You can do it, little buddy,” he said instead, his voice full of warmth and love. “I believe in you. Come on out, I want to see my kid.”

The egg shifted. Something pressed against the little slit in the side again. It pressed harder, and the egg bulged outward. Then, the egg gave way. A tiny fist protruded from the hole it had torn. After a moment, the fist pulled back inside the egg. But the baby knew what it was doing now. Tiny hands pressed against the cut, tearing it open, widening it. A little head squeezed through, bald, as infants usually were. The baby took its first breath of air, eyes still closed, and paused for a moment.

Virgil reached out a hesitant hand, but paused before he could touch the hatching infant. “You’re doing great,” he encouraged softly. “Just a little further.”

At the sound of his voice, the baby started moving again. The baby struggled forth, squeezing through the opening it had made and tearing it wider as it did so. Finally, finally, Virgil’s baby was out of the egg.

His heart felt like it would burst from the joy coursing through him. His baby had hatched. _His baby had hatched!_

The hatchling lay on its back, covered in egg goo and panting from the exertion of hatching.

“You did so good!” Virgil praised, struggling to hold back tears of joy. He’d been so worried for the past four days over this baby, and now it was hatched. 

The baby’s eyes opened for the first time, and it looked up at him. It smiled a toothless baby smile, and it reached up, making grabby hands for Virgil. He was sure his heart _did_ burst now. Virgil reached out his hands, tenderly scooping up the precious little child.

It was so small. The entirety of Virgil’s baby fit in the palm of one hand. His baby had a stumpy little tail, barely the length of its torso, but Virgil was pretty sure that was normal for infants. As it grew, it would lengthen.

“Hi there, baby.” He was a little teary as he cradled the baby close. “It’s me, your Daddy. I’m going to take care of you.”

The baby said nothing, because babies couldn’t talk any more than eggs could, but it reached up for him again. Virgil smiled.

“I’m going to put you in my pouch, now,” he said. “And then I’m going to go hunting. I’m sure you’re hungry, after all that work you just did, hatching yourself!”

Virgil lifted the baby — _his baby,_ ** _his._** — to his mouth. It took only a moment’s concentration to open the passage to his brood pouch, and he slipped the baby inside. A baby felt different inside than an egg did. Better. He imagined his kid curling up, though there wasn’t much of that little blue tail to curl, and going to sleep, safe inside him.

Virgil rested his hands on the outside of his pouch again. “I’m going to protect you, kid,” he promised again. “I won’t let you get hurt.”

There was a tiny squirm from inside his brood pouch, and Virgil couldn’t stop smiling. That was _his_ baby. Safe and warm. Satisfied, he slithered off to hunt.


	2. Chapter 1: A Camping Trip / Science!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three teenagers and one little snek go on a weekend camping trip. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** brief non-sexual non-explicit nudity, kidnapping, accidental mortal terror

**15 years later**

\---

It was a perfect early fall day. The weather hadn’t really started to get cold yet, but it was past the intense heat of the summer. Roman led the small group of four up one of the trails that lead deep into the woods. Janus walked behind him, with Patton on his shoulders — partly for Janus’s comfort, and partly because otherwise the naga would quickly be exhausted trying to keep up with three human teenagers for miles — and Remus brought up the rear. The group had been looking forward to this weekend long camping trip to just “go wild in the woods” as Remus had put it.

Janus didn’t have many plans to go wild, but he had brought a book that should entertain him if the Prince twins failed to do so. He had a feeling it would stay in the bottom of his bag, though, as Remus was babbling non-stop about all the things that they would be doing.

“Hey, I hear that there’s some haunted caves up towards the mountains!” He nudged Janus with an elbow. “Maybe we could go hunt a ghost.”

“And fight it with what? I don’t think any of us brought iron.”

“Dunno, but we’ll think of something.” He fell back behind Janus and fell quiet for a minute. “Salt! Salt in a sock!”

“We didn’t bring that much salt, and you’re not using it all on a ghost hunt.”

“Aw.” Remus pouted, but it wasn’t long before he was happily chattering away again.

Soon they found an area that Roman deemed worthy of a campsite. It had a nice open space where they could pitch their tent, with room left over for a fire pit without risking setting either their tent or the trees on fire. Janus even found a decent sized rock for Patton to sit on to be closer to the eye level of the three teenagers. He usually hung out on Janus’s shoulders anyway, but it was nice to have another option.

The twins had insisted on carrying most of the heavy stuff, including the tent and the food, because they knew Janus would be carrying Patton, and Janus didn’t object to their chivalry. Everyone had carried their own bedding, though. They managed to set up camp with not much of a struggle, all three working together to set up the tent. Then Patton slithered up a tree without any low branches, pulling a rope behind him, so they could string up the bag they were gonna put their food in overnight in case of bears.

With everything finally set up, and after a brief time foraging for firewood, Janus dumped his armload of smaller sticks into the spot they’d cleared for a fire pit. He brushed his hands off. “So, what do you guys want to do now?

Remus hummed for a second, then looked at his brother. “Hey Roman, you wanna go swimming?”

“We didn’t bring any swim stuff,” Roman pointed out.

That gave Remus pause, but only for a few seconds. “We could skinny dip.” He gasped excitedly. “I dare you to streak all the way to the lake!”

“It’s like… ten minutes’ walk from here.”

“I know!”

Roman eyed his twin consideringly. “Only if you streak too.”

“Deal!” Remus stripped immediately, dropping his clothes carelessly on the forest floor and pelting down the path in the direction of the lake. “Race you!”

“Not fair!” Roman protested, rushing to get his jeans off, and struggling due to not starting by removing his shoes. “You got a head start!”

Remus cackled from ahead. Roman dropped his pants in the dirt and took off after him, pulling his shirt over his head as he ran. He threw it back in the direction of the tent, and it landed on a bush.

Patton looked up at the one remaining human. “Do you want to go swimming too?”

Janus shook his head. “The water’s probably cold, and I don’t wanna swim naked or get my clothes wet. If you wanna swim, though, I can take you to the lake.”

“No thanks,” Patton said. “I’m not a water snake, and I don’t like cold water either.”

Janus chuckled and sat down on a log. “Alright. Those two can have fun by themselves for a while, then. What do  _ you _ want to do?”

“I’d honestly just like to snuggle.” Patton hauled himself up Janus’ pants leg onto his thigh. “I’m kinda tired.”

“But you didn’t even walk here.” Janus chuckled softly. “You rode on my shoulders.”

“Yeah, but I had to get up really early, and so did you.” Patton curled up on his lap. “Surely a nap couldn’t hurt.”

Janus nodded absently and pulled the book out of his backpack. It seemed he would be getting some use out of it after all. “You nap, I’ll be reading.  _ Someone  _ needs to make sure the chaos twins don’t have hypothermia or some kind of parasite after their swim.”

“True. Wake me when they’re back?” Patton snuggled up to his torso.

“Will do,” Janus agreed, stroking Patton’s scales with his free hand. With that and his book, he was happily occupied for a while.

\---

Logan watched the human with the ridiculously tiny naga in his lap read for a minute, torn with indecision. On one hand, he wasn’t supposed to expose himself to any humans. His father had drilled that into him from a young age: Humans were dangerous, they’d take him away, hurt him. On the other hand, it was so small. Logan was having trouble believing that it could really be as much of a threat as his father insisted. Perhaps when Logan was a child, but he was fifteen now. Plenty big enough to handle a single human, he was sure. And he was burning with questions. Humans looked so similar to nagas from the waist upward, but down below, it was so different. What could it be like to move around on two tiny little legs, instead of slithering with a proper tail? And were there other differences, not immediately apparent from just looking? And that tiny naga, where did it come from? Why was it with the human? It looked like it might be asleep, but why would a naga sleep in a human’s lap?

Logan’s grip on the bark of the tree he hid behind tightened and he sighed, making his mind up. His father wasn’t in their cave right now. He could just take the human there and then bring it back once he was finished. That way he could take all the notes he needed without moving anything and risking damage to his precious notebook. Logan just needed to quickly grab the human. He slithered forward, approaching the human from behind. A stick he hadn’t seen before cracked as his weight rested on it and Logan quickly ducked behind another tree, holding his breath.

“You boys back already?” the human said without even looking up from his book, let alone standing. A beat passed. “Guys? Is this a prank? This had better not be a prank. I’m really not in the mood to be grabbed by a pair of wet, naked idiots.”

Logan peered around the tree, biting his lip. The human was glancing around, but still hadn’t stood. After a minute, he settled back down, ruffling the pages of the book irritatedly. This was his chance, just grab the human and the tiny naga and leave.

Logan lunged forward, clapping his hand over the human’s face to keep his mouth closed. The human squirmed in his hands and Logan tightened his grip, lifting the human up off the log and into his arms while he struggled. The book regretfully tumbled into the dirt, but Logan couldn’t stop to claim it. He needed to move.

The human kept struggling. The tiny naga, knocked loose from its perch in the human’s lap, instead slithered up under his shirt. That was convenient, Logan thought. He wouldn’t have to separately capture the tiny creature. He’d just have to take care in restraining the human so that he didn’t accidentally apply too much pressure to the miniature naga.

“Stop squirming unless you wish to fall!” Logan hissed at the human, and he froze in Logan’s grip. “Thank you. If you cooperate, this will be over more quickly.” The human’s eyes widened, and he resumed squiming. There was a muffled noise of distress under Logan’s hand, but he kept it firmly clamped over the human’s mouth. “Stop squirming!” he commanded again, but this time the human didn’t obey.

Logan just kept moving. The human could squirm, but he wasn’t going to get away. It just made him more troublesome to carry. Logan wrapped one arm around the human’s waist, holding him against his chest as securely as he could, and kept the other hand pressed firmly against the small creature’s mouth, keeping it closed as well as holding his head in one spot.

Before long, Logan managed to get the human back to the cave he and his father lived in. He dumped the human onto the floor, looping a single coil around him to hold him still for the moment, while Logan grabbed his materials. The second Logan removed his hand, the human started to struggle and scream again.

“Let us go, you monster!” He squirmed, his hands pressing frantically against Logan’s scales. It was an odd feeling, but Logan ignored him, quickly grabbing his journal.

“Please, do be quiet.”

“No!” the human cried, only struggling more. “I’m not going to quietly sit here while you  _ eat _ me! I’m not going down easily!” 

“What? No.” Logan shook his head. “I’m not going to eat you. I merely wish to study you.” 

That seemed to take the fight out of the human. His struggles ceased. “Wh-what?”

“I do not wish to hurt you. I only want to study you so I can learn about your species,” Logan repeated more or less patiently, finding an empty page in his journal. “I have some questions I hope you can answer for me, and that tiny naga as well.”

“What do you want with Patton?!” The human started struggling again. “He’s my friend, you can’t have him!”

The tiny naga — Patton, Logan now knew — poked his head up out of the human’s shirt collar. He had curly blond hair and pale skin. Logan leaned in close, marveling at his tiny features. “Extraordinary.”

“Please, let Janus go,” the miniature naga said. He pulled himself up out of the human’s clothes, wrapping instead around his arm. The human — Janus, apparently — clung to him, holding the little naga to his chest. Logan wondered how long Patton was, but with him all coiled up in the human’s arms, it was impossible to tell. He  _ could _ tell, however, that Patton was scarcely thicker than Janus’s arm, and that his whole body together was less mass than Janus’s torso.

“I will, both of you, but only after I’ve completed my research.” Logan reached out, but paused before he touched Patton. “May I hold you, Patton? I want to feel your weight.” 

Patton squirmed with hesitance. “Stop squishing my friend first.”

Logan looked the human over again. His face was much redder than it had been when he’d been reading earlier, with the exception of the strange spot that took up the left side of his face. He wasn’t struggling anymore, but he was breathing hard, chest heaving. Logan was fairly certain he wasn’t suffocating the little creature, since his tail was coiled around him only from the waist down, but this was still concerning. In addition, the tiny brown eyes staring up at Logan were wide with fear, and Logan spotted the shine of thin wet lines running down his cheeks.

Guilt briefly pulled at his heart. Logan hadn’t intended to  _ scare  _ the human. He’d just needed to quickly move him. Slowly, Logan loosened his coil. He let it rest on the ground in a circle around Janus’s feet instead, not touching him.

“Just do not run so the observation can be over with as quickly as possible, and I can return you to where I found you.”

The human, still gulping for air, nodded. Logan leaned in closer again, and the human responded by backing up nervously. He tripped over Logan’s tail, sitting down abruptly on top of it. His tiny arms flailed. The miniature naga slithered up him again, murmuring something into Janus’s ear too softly for Logan to make out, and Janus slowly seemed to relax, just a little.

“It’s okay,” Logan said soothingly. Janus stared up at him. It didn’t seem like he was going to be able to answer Logan’s questions in the immediate future, so instead of wasting time, Logan decided to talk to Patton first. He lifted the portion of tail they were both on so that he wouldn’t need to bend down as much, sliding another coil underneath. Janus’s eyes widened further, but he didn’t otherwise move. “Tell me, Patton, how you ever got so little? Are you a baby?” Even for an infant, he was absolutely minuscule, but Logan didn’t think he could quite be  _ that _ young, not with the language skills he possessed.

Patton laughed. “No, kiddo, I’m an adult!”

Logan blinked. An  _ adult _ ? He’d been hypothesizing that Patton might be a particularly small child, but an  _ adult _ ? That raised more questions than it answered. “Were you always so small? Did you shrink? What’s it like?”

“Um, I guess I was always small,” Patton said, looking up at him. “But I used to be a lot smaller before this, when I  _ was _ a baby. I grew up to this size. I’m not a giant naga like you, I’m a micro naga.”

“There’s an entire species this little?” Logan quickly wrote that down.

“I’m actually one of the larger breeds,” Patton told him. “I’ve met full-grown adults half my size.”

“Fascinating! Does every member of your species live with a human?”

Patton shook his head. “No. Many micro nagas live in the wild, but plenty of us live with humans or in sanctuaries somewhere. I just happen to live with Janus because we picked each other out a few years ago.” He gave the human a fond pat on the head, then slid his tiny fingers in so they vanished into Janus’s shaggy brown hair. Janus leaned into the touch. Logan paused. Hadn’t the human had something on his head when Logan had found him? It must have fallen off in all the struggling.

Not important. Logan still had more questions than answers, and he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He only had so much time before his father returned from hunting. Janus seemed to have calmed down a bit now, so Logan decided to get his main curiosity out of the way. He reached forward, touching the human’s leg with a finger. Janus twitched, shoulders jerking up a little, but he didn’t squirm away.

“What’s it like, having legs?” Logan asked.

“What’s it like having a tail?” Janus retorted.

Logan frowned, then realized the human’s point. Having legs was simply his normal, and he wouldn’t be able to describe the differences in sensation any more than Logan could. Well, there were other ways to gain information. “Let me see under your clothes.”


	3. Chapter 2: Dratted Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has to defend his territory and his son. Logan keeps attempting to study Janus, who is not entirely cooperative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Contains: intentional mortal terror (due to threatening to eat people), panic attack, brief non-sexual nudity

Virgil slithered through the woods, weaving his large body through the trees with practiced grace. As usual, he’d left Logan safely in their cave while he hunted. Virgil was in the process of getting his fill when he decided to see if any of the fish from deep in the lake were close enough to the top to be hunted. 

He was close to the break in the tree line when he heard voices. Other nagas, perhaps? He turned toward them, hopeful.

“Remus, stop! You’re gonna drown me!” 

“It’s not my fault you have such a weak back!” There was a maniacal cackle that followed, cut short by a splash. 

Peering through the trees, Virgil saw that a pair of humans were the trouble. The faint spark of hope there were more nagas was quickly extinguished, replaced with a deep annoyance that seemed to weigh down his middle. Humans were all annoying, dangerous creatures that only took what they wanted, consequences be damned.

Sneaking closer, Virgil was able to make out a little more about the humans. They looked quite similar, even more than humans usually did, anyway, so they must be related. And they were also completely without clothes. That was unlike humans. Virgil had hunted and scared off enough humans in his life to know that they always wore clothes, no matter the temperature. They even had special clothes for swimming in. So these two were definitely unusual. They should still have the normal reaction to him, however.

He slithered forward, rising up and hissing. He could probably just scare these two away. The last thing he needed was humans in the woods near his kid, but he didn’t particularly want to eat them. Maybe being a Dad had softened him, but it just felt unnecessary to eat the pair if they could be scared off.

The two humans stopped fighting in the shallow water and stared up at him in unabashed terror. He almost could swear he was able to see the blood drain from their faces as the smell of their fear reached him.

“Get out of my forest!” he snarled, swiping at them. One of them screamed as they scrambled away from him in different directions. He lunged after one, blocking the other’s path with his tail. “Trespassers must be punished!” he hissed lowly, slowly reaching a huge clawed hand towards the human in front of him.

“We’ll leave! We’ll leave!” The human in front of him shrieked. He stumbled into the deeper water, momentarily going under. Virgil snatched the human out of the water, baring his fangs at the squirming little creature. He wanted to make sure they were good and terrified. “Please don’t kill me!” the human wailed. 

Virgil paused, teeth slightly parted. The human was shaking in his grip and the fear emanating from him told Virgil it wasn’t from cold. Good. 

“Let him go, you— you big snake!” The other one was trembling slightly as well from where he was standing in the water. “We’ll leave, dammit! Just let him go!” 

Virgil hissed at the little human and was pleased to see the flinch. They were both good and terrified. He dropped the human into the water near the other one and pulled his tail closer to him. “Get out. If I see either of you in my territory again, I won’t give you any mercy.” 

The pair of humans took off into the trees. Virgil chuckled and dusted his hands together. Returning his focus to the task at hand, he went to scope out the deep part to get meat for his kiddo before he could return to the cave. 

\---

“Let me see under your clothes.”

“What?” Janus exclaimed, face reddening again. “No!”

“Why not?” Logan lifted the human’s leg with a few fingers, looking curiously at his foot. He could tell the general shape of it, but with the clothing in the way, none of the specifics. “I want to know the differences between our bodies, and I cannot do that with precision without looking under your clothes.”

Janus pulled his foot away, scowling. “I am  _ not _ doing a  _ strip tease _ for my  _ kidnapper _ !”

“Why not?” Logan asked again, puzzled. He really didn’t see what the big deal was. He didn’t know what a ‘strip tease’ was exactly either, but he thought he had a decent guess from the context. “It’s not that cold in here.”

Janus didn’t answer, just huffed and looked away, face still extremely red.

Patton patted Janus’s head again, looking up at Logan. “Humans don’t just wear clothes for warmth like we do,” he explained. “And they’re very particular about who they let see them without their clothes on.”

“What’s the other reason they wear clothes?” Logan asked.

Patton hesitated, looking at Janus. The human whined and buried his face in Patton’s powder blue coils, piled in his arms. From this new angle, Logan could see that even the backs of his ears had turned red.

“They, um.” Patton stroked Janus’s head, running his fingers through his hair in what looked like a soothing gesture. “They have… well, they have parts they don’t like others seeing, or talking about, unless it’s their mate. I don’t fully understand it either, they’ve all got them, but that’s how they are. And as Janus’s Companion, I must insist that you not press the matter any further. He’s already quite distressed.”

Logan frowned, disappointed, but he could see that continuing on this line of questioning would be fruitless. He sighed. “Fine. Could I see him walk around a bit, then? I’ve studied some of the forest creatures’ gaits, and I’m curious how bipedal motion compares.”

“Maybe in a bit,” Patton answered. “He needs some time to calm down again.”

Logan bit his lip. He didn’t  _ have _ a lot of time. But he nodded, deciding to go back to asking Patton questions again.

-

Janus had to remind himself to take deep breaths against Patton’s coils. His heart rate was finally starting to calm down again after being asked to strip. Thank God he’d brought Patton with him. His Mom had worried the little naga might get hurt, but it had been too important to Janus that he had Patton with him.

“So. Patton.” The giant naga spoke up again. Janus didn’t look up at him, keeping his face against Patton’s cool scales and focusing on his breathing. “What exactly is your relationship with Janus? You’re older than him, and he seems to be emotionally dependent upon you. Do you hold a paternal position?”

_ Kinda _ , Janus thought, and didn’t say. They didn’t talk about that. There were documents in the family safe which said that legally, Patton was an animal that belonged to Janus’s mother. That always made it awkward to discuss Patton’s exact role in the family, and how he and Janus felt about each other. So they didn’t. Janus wasn’t even sure if Patton  _ knew _ . Or reciprocated.

Patton slightly tightened his coils around Janus’s arms. “Well, um. I’m certainly fond of the kidd- o-of Janus. I’m his therapy naga. I help guide him through stressful situations, and I’m his shoulder to cry on— B-but he has two parents who love him very, very much! I wouldn’t presume to claim that I’m a… I’m a father figure.”

Janus hugged Patton tighter, still not looking up. The naga clicked his tongue soothingly, running his fingers through Janus’s hair again.

“Um, what’s your name? We’ve told you ours, but we don’t know your name,” Patton added quickly, thankfully changing the subject.

“Oh. My name is Logan.” The giant naga shifted slightly, his tail sliding a bit underneath Janus. “Forgive me for foregoing formalities. We’re pressed for time. If I may, Patton, what’s a human living arrangement like?” 

“Generally, close family lives together, parents and kids normally. That’s been my experience—” 

“Sorry, I should have clarified.” Logan cleared his throat. “What are their dwellings like? Their homes?”

“Oh. Homes. Right. They really vary. Some are one floor, some are many levels. Most of the time they’ve got a room for every family member to sleep in and keep their things. There’s a room for cooking and food storage, and at least one room for the bath and the toilets and stuff. Hygiene.” 

Janus could hear the scratch of Logan’s writing utensil as Patton spoke. The giant naga must be taking more notes. It was kind of creepy how Logan was studying them. What was he doing with this information? What was going to happen to them once they’d answered his questions? Would he really take them back to their campsite like he’d said? And why were they so pressed for time?

Janus glanced up. Logan was excitedly writing, but within moments, he noticed Janus looking up. “Oh, Janus, I apologize for making you uncomfortable earlier, but I have a question. Are you a mammal? Does your species give live birth and nurse your young?” 

“Uh… yeah. We’re mammals.” He’d almost forgotten that despite their similarities, nagas were technically reptiles. They both (Janus assumed with Logan, as he was without a belly button like Patton was) had hatched from eggs.

“Wonderful. What’s the age you start to walk? Is it close to birth? When do you start to talk intelligently?” 

Janus blinked, thinking for a second. “Uh… around a year? Talking, though… That’s after a couple years. Three or four if you want to understand them.” 

“Mhm.” Logan kept scribbling, for a lot longer than before. Since Janus was calmer now, Patton started to lower himself down to comfortably lie around his shoulders.

“You feeling better, kiddo?” Patton whispered. 

“Yeah,” Janus whispered back. “Can’t help but wonder when we’re gonna be let go. The twins might be back by now and freaking out about us not being there.” 

Logan glanced up, another question on his lips, and he paused. There was a sound by the mouth of the cave. It was like an engine-less tank rolling over gravel. Something big and heavy dragging across rocky dirt.

Logan twisted around in alarm, looking toward the mouth of the cave, then whipped back to face the two sitting on his tail, eyes wide. “It’s my dad!” he whispered. “You gotta hide, I’m not supposed to have a human!” 

He scooped Janus up with a hand under each arm, like a child, and quickly carried him over to a corner of the cave. Logan settled down in front of Janus after dropping him on the floor, obviously trying to hide the pair from his father. The noise grew louder, and Janus crouched in Logan’s shadow, terrified. The tip of Logan’s thick, dark blue tail curled tightly around his ankle. 

Logan was too big in his own right. Janus was petrified at the thought of an even bigger naga in the cave with them. An even bigger naga that apparently really did not like humans, or at least wouldn’t approve of them being in the cave. He was nervous, but he pushed Patton down into his shirt for safety. He wasn’t going to let Patton get hurt. Not if he could help it. 


	4. Chapter 3: Logan’s Dad Comes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets home, and he is not pleased to find a blasted human in his cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/Contains:** international mortal terror (threats of being eaten, again), panic attack, a little bit of not-very-scary vore of the gastric brooding variety (baby protection noms in a specially designed pouch)

“Logan, I’m back. I got fish for you… What are you doing in the corner?”

“Hm? The corner? I was… I was just writing. I thought I saw an interesting stripe in the rock over here.”

There was silence for a moment. Janus prayed that Logan’s dad believed the lie.

Then, “Alright. Come eat your dinner.”

Janus winced. They were doomed. So doomed.

“Uh,” Logan floundered, not moving.

“Logan,” his father said sternly. “Come here.”

Logan’s tail uncoiled from around Janus’s ankle. “Yes, father,” he said, slithering away.

Janus almost stopped breathing. Maybe if he was still, Logan’s dad would think he was just another rock in the cave? It _was_ kinda dim in here, and his clothes were reasonably dark, natural colors.

Lady Luck was just not with him today. Nearly instantly he fell under the gaze of a truly _huge_ naga. Over three times as big as Logan, this naga filled up the entrance to the cave with his gargantuan purple tail.

“Logan, did you catch another bear cub?” the naga asked, slithering closer. “Stop bringing things into the cave.” He sounded a bit disappointed, but not angry. Of course, he’d also mistaken Janus for a baby bear. “We’ve talked about this, and you can’t-”

“Sorry, Dad,” Logan started, but he trailed off. Janus had a bad feeling that Logan’s dad had realized that Janus wasn’t a bear cub after all. He slowly glanced up, his heart crawling up his throat to choke him.

The gigantic purple naga was looking right back at him. The last time Janus had seen an adult this displeased was when Remus had thrown a glitter bomb at their principal right before homecoming. And this time, Janus was sure, the fallout would be far less amusing. Those narrowed violet eyes looked like they could bore a hole through the solid rock wall behind Janus. He ducked his head again, quivering. Patton, curled around his torso, gave him a comforting squeeze.

“Logan,” said the giant naga in a stern, dangerous voice. “Care to tell me why there’s a _human_ in our cave?”

Logan quickly dove between them, hiding Janus behind him again. If Janus wasn’t currently terrified out of his skull, he’d find it ironic that he was now grateful for the presence of the naga who’d been terrifying him only minutes ago.

“I found him. I brought him here. I - I was just exploring when I found him in one of the clearings! He was so little, and alone, and there weren’t any weapons around, s-so I took him! He- he wasn’t hunting me, I swear!”

Janus peeked out around Logan. There was only the briefest of falters in that stern look. “You brought it here, even after I’ve taught you how dangerous they are.”

“Yes, sir.” Logan’s voice quavered, but he held his position.

The gigantic naga held a hand out expectantly. “Give it here, I’ll get rid of it and I’ll think about forgetting about this and not grounding you for a month.”

Janus’s chest tightened like he was being crushed, and his mouth went dry. ‘Get rid of it’?! Like he was a roach! His mind started to race with all the terrible things that were about to happen to him.

“No!” Janus looked up, startled out of his spiral. Logan was still between his father and Janus, staring up at the bigger giant with a determined set to his jaw. “No, Dad, you can’t. You mustn’t!”

Logan’s dad sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Logan, I know you’re curious. But this has gotten out of hand. That human is dangerous, Logan. I know it’s little, but in big enough numbers, humans can _kill us_ .”

“Won’t eating this one make the others mad enough to want to try?” Logan countered.

If Logan’s dad answered, Janus didn’t hear it. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears as he fought not to puke. The giant naga intended to _eat_ him! He wasn’t even a roach to be squashed. He was a rat, like he would have given to Patton after finding it in the trap. A mere snack.

His senses returned to him when Logan’s dad just reached around his son to grab him anyway. Patton shot out of Janus’s shirt. “No!”

That was enough to get the huge naga to pause. His enormous eyes widened even further, and he yanked his hand back like he’d touched something hot.

“Don’t eat him,” Patton pleaded. “Please, he’s just a kid.”

“What?” He leaned back slightly. A range of emotions flickered across the huge face.

Janus grabbed a handful of Patton, hugging him close.

“Please,” Patton repeated. “Don’t eat my kid.”

Logan moved slightly aside, his tail curling around Janus’s leg. Janus once again buried his face against Patton, who didn’t waver in staring up at the enormous naga.

“Your… kid,” Logan’s dad repeated slowly. “It’s a… he’s a… oh God.” Disgust became the predominant emotion on display. “I nearly…” A shudder ran up his whole body. “How old are you, kid?”

“Seh-seventeen,” Janus sniffled, not lifting his face away from Patton’s comforting scales.

“You’re barely older than Logan,” the giant naga said softly, almost to himself. “I… I need a moment. Time to process this.”

Patton stroked Janus’s hair. “We need a moment too. It’s okay, Jan, you’re gonna be okay.”

Logan lowered himself a little to softly lay a hand on Janus’s shoulder. “He’s not going to harm you, I promise.”

Janus gulped for air, but he believed him. He nodded shakily. The alternative was awful, and Janus shoved the thought out of his head. He slumped against Logan’s hand, suddenly exhausted. The naga picked him up, settling down on the floor. Janus felt like a little kid being held in his mom’s lap, but he was too tired from being terrified for his life, _again_ , to really care. Eventually, his breathing started to settle. Patton once again looped himself around Janus’s shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze.

“You still shouldn’t have brought a human home with you, even if he is a child,” Logan’s dad said a bit later. “He knows where we are. The safety of our home is compromised. I can’t just let him leave.”

Patton warily looked up at Logan’s father.

“I don’t plan on hurting him, but I _am_ going to put you in time out, Logan.”

“Dad!” Logan protested. “I’m too old for time out.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you broke the most important rule I’ve set,” his dad answered sternly. “I’ll let you finish your dinner first, but then you’re going in time out for the rest of the evening.”

Grumbling, Logan slithered back to the pile of fish his dad had given him, still holding Janus around the waist with one arm. “Do you want some?” he offered.

Janus looked at the raw fish and grimaced. “No thanks.”

“Suit yourself.” Logan nibbled at the fish in his hand, very obviously going slowly on purpose.

“Logan, eat normally,” his dad scolded. Logan stuck his forked tongue out at him. “I don’t _have_ to let you finish that meal first, you know.”

Begrudgingly, Logan stuffed the rest of the fish into his mouth and swallowed it whole. He did the same with the rest of the pile his dad had given him. Janus didn’t even have it in him to be intimidated by the large snake anymore, he was so exhausted, and the expression on Logan’s face made him look like exactly what he was: a teenager getting scolded by his dad and being petulant about it.

Once the fish pile was gone, Logan set Janus on the floor, where he promptly sat down again, too tired to bother standing. Logan crossed his arms over his chest, pouting, and curled his tail tightly up on itself.

“Logan,” his father gently scolded as he picked up the teenage naga. “Coils.”

Logan allowed his coils to drop and crossed his arms tighter, looking off go the side with a scowl. His father lifted him up higher and opened his mouth wide, unhinging his jaw.

Patton squeezed Janus around the shoulders in alarm, and he looked up, taking in the scene before him with the sort of calm detachment that came with being this level of tired. Somewhere deep in Janus’s exhausted brain, the logical part of him pointed out that after everything that had happened, it didn’t make sense for Logan’s father to hurt Logan, and besides, Logan didn’t seem scared at all, just annoyed. So obviously, that logical part of Janus’s brain reported, there was something else going on here. Another part of his brain, far more insistently but just as ignored, screamed that the sight of Logan’s father putting Logan head first in his mouth was _bad_ , _wrong_ , and _scary_ .

Logan was quickly slipping down his dad’s throat, and after a few moments, the skin just above the start of that thick purple tail very softly swelled outward. There was still a fair portion of Logan’s long tail outside, however, and his father continued to swallow it. Before long, Logan had been entirely swallowed. That section of skin was now softly rounded.

“You were right, Logan,” his dad said, resting his hands on his belly. “You’re getting too big to go in time out.”

The skin under his hand _moved_ as Logan shifted inside his father’s belly, briefly pressing out against the flesh surrounding him. Though Janus knew distantly that he should be frightened, he was still feeling numbed and remained quite calm.

Patton was considerably less so. “You ate your kiddo!” he shrieked. “What is wrong with you?!”

“What?”

“You just ate Logan!”

Logan’s dad glanced down at himself, rubbing the bulge with one hand. “He’s in my brood pouch, not my stomach,” he said, in a tone that made it clear he thought this was obvious and didn’t understand why Patton was so upset.

Patton’s turn to be stunned. “Your what?”

“My brood pouch,” Logan’s dad repeated. “Do small nagas not swallow their young to protect them before they can slither?” He lowered himself to get closer.

“Uh, no? We don’t have anything like that.”

“Hm.” He stifled a huge yawn with the back of his hand. “Sorry in advance for this, but I need to sleep on this matter of what to do with this human, and I’m not comfortable just letting a human run around my cave unsupervised, so he’ll be going in time out too. Logan can watch over him; despite his overabundance of curiosity, he’s a responsible kid. After I finish my nap, you and I can talk about this, father to father.”

Janus couldn’t find the energy to fight as he was gathered up in huge hands. He did offer resistance when Patton was pulled away between two huge fingers, but he couldn’t do much. Janus was oddly calm being pushed into an enormous snake mouth, mostly upset about not being able to have Patton with him. He squirmed a little as he was pushed into his throat, pulled down by the tight, stretchy flesh. It was a weird sensation.

A few seconds that felt like a minute later, Janus fell into Logan’s coils with a thump. They were much firmer than they’d been the last time he’d been sitting on them.

Logan quickly found him with his hands. “You’re okay. Don’t panic. This is a brood pouch, most of my early childhood was spent in this very spot, it’s completely safe.”

“I know.” Janus sat up, one hand absently grabbing Logan by the wrist. Logan’s arm was thicker than Janus’s leg, so he didn’t have much grip. “I’m tired,” Janus told the big naga. “Can I take a nap?”

“Sure,” Logan answered. “Not much else we can do in here, anyway.”

Janus settled down among the coils, keeping one hand on Logan’s wrist. For some reason, he felt it was important not to lose it in the dark. Logan was careful in shifting his tail around to make room for Janus in the tight brood pouch. If Janus wasn’t so little, or if Logan had been any bigger, there would definitely not be enough room for the both of them.

A thick coil rested across Janus’s legs, and he shifted slightly to relieve pressure on his ankles. Logan sounded embarrassed when he spoke again. “I did try to tell him I was too large for this. I had no clue he’d be putting you in here as well.”

“Mm-hm,” Janus mumbled absently. He yawned, snuggling into the nest of coils around him. It was oddly comfortable, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake much longer. Logan was perhaps much larger than the comforting naga he knew, but it would work under these circumstances. Janus absently traced the outline of one of Logan’s scales with his fingers. “’Night.”

“It’s still early evening, actually,” Logan answered. “Perhaps even late afternoon.”

“It’s a human expression,” Janus explained sleepily, his words starting to blur together. “It’s short for ‘I’m going to sleep, goodnight, sleep well, love you, et cetera.’” He yawned again. “You’re supposed to say it back.”

“Er,” Logan said. “I see. Ah, ‘Night,’ then.”

“Night,” Janus said again, and then he was out.


	5. Chapter 4: Questing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins realize that Janus and Patton are missing, and go on a Quest to find them and rescue if necessary.  
> It doesn't go great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/contains:** assorted morbid musings, a single f-bomb and about three smaller cusses

Twin hearts pounded with fear as they ran back into camp. “Janus, we gotta go! Right now!” Roman grabbed his pants and started to struggle into them. His legs had dried off somewhat in their run back to camp, but the dampness that remained made it difficult to pull his jeans on, and his jittery nerves certainly didn’t help.

“Big ass snake wants to eat us!” Remus added, yanking his socks on, and then his shoes. “We gotta haul ass, asap!” 

There was no answer, not even the soft voice of Patton. Silence. 

“Janus? Where’d you go?” Remus glanced around and swore loudly. “Roman! We got trouble!” 

“What? Where’s… where’s Janus?” 

Remus held Janus’s signature black fedora in his hands. The book he had brought lay open in the pine needles, one page crumpled underneath it. “I think they’re gone.”

“Janus! Patton!” Roman called desperately, putting on his socks as he hopped around the perimeter of camp, looking for any sign of his friends. “C’mon guys, we gotta go!”

“Patty! Jan!” Remus put Janus’s hat on his own head to free his hands and scrambled up a tree, glancing around. “Where are you two?” They called out for their friends for a few moments more before Remus nearly fell out of the tree in surprise. “Roman! Big problems!” 

“Besides our best friends being missing?!” Roman was finally fully dressed, having fought the bush for his shirt. It was inside out, but he didn’t care. “What’s the problem?”

“Naga tracks.  _ Big _ naga tracks, leading in and out of camp.” Remus pointed to a thick, continuous groove in the dirt and pine needles, much easier to see from above than from on the ground.

“Shit,” Roman said. “Think that monster caught Janus before we could get back?”

Remus shook his head, looking at the tracks some more. “They’re not big enough, I think there’s  _ two _ . But it still might have taken them.”

“It’s our best lead.” Roman picked up the heavy stick he’d used as a walking stick that morning, on their way in. “Let’s go get our friends back so we can get the hell out of here.”

Remus dropped out of the tree and tucked one of his knives into his pants. “This is a terrible idea. Let’s do it.” 

Roman nodded.

They’d been following the giant tracks for less than thirty seconds when Remus suddenly perked up. “Hey, Roman, it’s a Quest!” he said. 

“What are you talking about? Janus and Patton were  _ kidnapped _ ! Maybe eaten!”

“I mean, this is terrible, obviously, but c’mon. We’re on a QUEST!” He waved his hands around at the trees. “A couple of dashing rouges going to save our princes from a terrible scaly beast.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Oh really? I at least have a knife. You grabbed a  _ stick _ .” 

“It’s heavy enough to crack it upside the head.” Roman defended.

“Stick, staff, whatever. We’re on a quest to save Janus. And Patton.” Remus waved his words away. “Besides, you know the fates like Quests. Our chances of survival go  _ way _ up compared to if we just call it ‘Two teenagers in the woods following a dangerous predator home.’”

Roman grimaced. “When you put it like that, we  _ do _ sound like a pair of idiots.”

“See? Call it a Quest, and we can be heroes instead.”

“Fine. It’s a quest, but if we die here, I’m going on record to say I will haunt you for the rest of your life.” 

“I’ll be dead too, you’ll have to haunt my afterlife,” Remus answered cheerfully. Roman thwacked him with the back of his hand.

The pair fell into silence after a minute more, following the tracks and also keeping a look out for anything that might be a sign of Janus or Patton. The ground under their feet started to lead up towards the mountains, becoming rockier, and the twins became more nervous. 

“Hey… Roman… you don’t think these nagas are the reason so many people die up here, do you?”

“Remus, I will  _ pay _ you to shut up for five minutes. I don’t need to think about all the people who’ve vanished on the mountain!” He was quiet for a minute. “Besides, everyone just says it’s because they don’t plan well enough for the climb. People don’t usually vanish for good out of the woods, just on the mountain.”

“Not  _ everyone _ says that,” Remus said.

“Shut  _ up! _ ”

So Remus didn’t bring up the supposed ghosts and mountain trolls. They continued on in silence.

After several more minutes of walking through the treacherous terrain, the pair came across a truly huge cave. It looked like it had come out of a movie set, with its gaping mouth and high ceiling. 

“Remus, a-am I going crazy from worry, or are those really, really big tracks?” He gestured to more tracks heading into the gravelly mouth of the cave, crossing on top of the ones they’d been following. 

“Big enough to belong to that monster from the lake?” Remus gulped loudly. “Yup. I think they’re both in there.”

Roman looked into the cave with a grimace. “Fabulous.”

“I think the word you’re thinking of is ‘fuck’ because we’re  _ definitely _ going to die here,” Remus said with a nervous laugh.

Roman nodded. “Last chance to do the smart thing and run away instead,” he offered.

“Brave and stupid thing,” Remus answered.

“Yeah, I thought so. Let’s go get our Jan back.”

“We might die horrible, gruesome deaths, but in we go!” Holding his knife tightly, Remus marched into the cave. Roman hurried after him, hoping they lived long enough to joke about this later.

It was dim inside the cave, and their eyes took a few moments to adjust. Roman held his staff so tightly his knuckles turned white, keeping it aloft so it wouldn’t tap against the ground and alert anything inside. Remus cautiously led the way, eyes scanning every nook and cranny for his friends. 

What they found instead was terrible. The huge purple naga from the lake was lying on the ground, asleep. Two enormous hands rested on his gigantic belly, which was very definitely fuller than it had been when he’d threatened to eat the twins less than an hour ago.

Fear welled up inside the twins. They were too late. It’d eaten their friends. 

The skin under the giant hands shifted. Something was moving it from within! As they watched, some solid form pressed against the inside wall of the giant’s belly, distending the flesh. It was gone again in a moment, but they had both seen it.

“Something’s alive in there,” Remus said, tense 

“Do you think it’s Janus?” Roman gasped.

“One way to find out.” Remus lifted his knife higher, striding forward with purpose. Roman grabbed his arm.

“Ree!” he hissed, alarmed. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to cut it open like the woodcutter in Little Red Riding Hood and get Janus out! Leggo of my arm and give me a boost.”

“Are you insane?!” Roman pulled him back. “That knife can’t cut it open! It’ll wake up before you get anywhere near a big enough hole, and then we’ll  _ all _ be supper!”

“If we don’t do  _ something, right now _ , Janus and Patton are going to die in that thing!” Remus shoved him. “Stand back, I’ll do it myself.”

“We need a plan!” 

“I  _ have _ a plan!”

“A better plan! One that won’t get us all killed!” Roman dropped his stick, lunging for the knife. The pair struggled, shoving at each other and swearing quietly.

“Roman? Remus?” They froze, struggle immediately forgotten. That had been  _ Patton’s  _ voice!

“Patton!” They cried in unison, letting go of each other.

“Patton, where are you?” Roman added, looking around the cave.

“I-I’m up here.” They managed to locate the source of his sweet voice. He was trapped up under the enormous naga’s hand, pinned between it and the large belly.

“Are you hurt?” Roman asked.

“Where’s Janus?” Remus added.

“Hold on, let me come down there so we can stop yelling. Virgil’s asleep, I don’t wanna wake him.” He wiggled out from under the enormous hand and slid down to the floor.

The twins rushed over to him. Remus reached him first, picking the little blue naga up. At least, his torso, and the first two or three feet of tail. Roman got there a second later, scooping up an armful of naga coils. Together, they carried Patton back to where they’d been standing before.

“Thank goodness you’re okay.” Roman tried to remain calm and quiet as he snuggled the little naga’s tail to his chest like Janus often did, but they  _ still _ hadn’t seen Janus, and he was worried, so it was hard.

“Where’s Janus?” Remus asked again.

“Virgil put him and Logan in time out,” Patton explained. “He’s okay. I think he’s asleep, though. All the stress tired him out.” The micro naga beamed up at the pair. “I’m glad you two are okay.” He gently nuzzled against Remus’s chest, ‘hugging’ Roman with his tail at the same time.

“Who are Virgil and Logan?” Roman asked, more patiently than he really felt like being. “Where is ‘time out’?” 

Patton turned around and pointed to the gigantic naga’s bulging stomach. “In Virgil’s brood pouch. Logan is in there with him. He’s a teenage naga, Virgil’s son, it’s a long story.”

“It… it ate Janus, and you’re okay with that?!” Roman huffily dropped his armload of blue tail on the cave floor, and Remus stumbled, nearly dropping his portion of Patton as well from the sudden weight. “That thing tried to kill us earlier!” Roman continued. “It almost ate me!” 

“He is quite… Territorial, but he’s promised to not hurt anyone. Lower your voices.” Patton curled once around Remus’s arm for stability, then slithered out toward Roman, who huffed angrily. “We’re going to discuss what’s going to happen once he’s awake.” 

Before Roman could get another sentence out, the steady gusts of wind they now recognized as Virgil’s breathing hitched, and a soft groan filled the cave. The twins backed up a little as the huge naga shifted and then rose to his full, menacing height. 

“Oh, you two again.” He sighed and one hand absently cradled the bulge in his middle. “What do you want? I told you to leave.” 

“We were, but then you stole our friends!” Roman shouted up at him. “Let them go, you— you reptilian rapscallion!”

The naga sighed. “Of course my son found the friend of the two crazy lake humans.” He patted his full stomach. “Logan, wake up. More humans just arrived, and they want Janus.”

There was the movement from inside his stomach again, this time accompanied by muffled noises and a quiet shout. The twins stepped closer to each other, and Roman grabbed his stick again. Remus snatched his knife from the floor where he’d dropped it, pointing it up at the giant.

Virgil winced at the excited movement and clutched his stomach tighter. “You really are too big for timeout,” he mumbled to himself. “You’re both coming out, though I might have to put the humans back in.” 

Before the twins had time to process what that meant, Virgil was leaning over, opening his mouth so wide, his jaw came unhinged. A few moments later, his throat bulged, something far too big and too long to be Janus working its way upward.

A head, huge but not nearly as huge as Virgil’s, slid out, followed immediately by a torso and the start of a long, dark blue tail. Virgil caught the smaller naga in his hands, lowering him down to the cave floor, where he sat up. He continued to draw his long tail up and out of Virgil’s mouth, but the twins barely noticed that. The blue naga was holding Janus in his arms!

Roman rushed forward, and Janus squirmed.

“Lo, put me down,” he said, and the smaller naga, apparently Logan, set him carefully down. 

Remus hefted Patton up around his shoulders so he wouldn’t trip over him and then quickly bolted over to Janus, whom Roman was squeezing tightly in a hug. “We thought you were a goner.” He plopped Janus’s hat back on its owner’s head, then joined Roman in hugging him. Patton shifted around to encircle the boys’ waists, and hugged Janus around the neck with his arms.

“I’m fine. I didn’t get killed.” Janus hugged the twins back as best he could from the middle of their embrace. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

The hug lasted far too long, but also not even close to long enough before an awkward throat clearing got their attention. The twins slightly pulled back while Patton uncoiled from around them, shifting over entirely onto Janus.

“Ah. Right.” Remus cleared his throat. “Giant nagas.” 

Virgil was looming over them. “Patton, we need to discuss what to do about this… situation with the humans.” 

“I don’t think there’s anything to discuss. You let us go and we get the hell out of the woods.” Roman puffed his chest out. “Like you said when you were going to  _ eat me _ at the lake.” 

“He what?” Janus whispered quietly. 

“Yes, but that was before you found out where we lived.” Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just need to make sure my son and I don’t need to move again. The problem as it stands is that if I just let you go, you can bring more humans, with guns, up to our home to kill us.” 

“It’s not like you were hard to find,” Remus said. “We just followed Logan’s tracks from where he kidnapped Janus.”

“Yeah!” Roman exclaimed. “If— if you kill us, our parents will come out looking for us, and they’d be able to find you just as easily!”

“I’m not going to kill a handful of teenagers just because Logan got curious.” He sighed. “My conscience wouldn’t allow it, but there’s nothing stopping me, either morally or practically, from keeping you all here. I’d like to get you all out of my hair, but I have no guarantee that you three won’t round up a mob to finish us off or have us shipped to a laboratory.” 

Janus suddenly spoke up. “We would never do that!” he said. “Logan is my friend! And you may have terrified me within an inch of my life, but you’re a person too. I’m not going to just sic a mob on either of you. Give us a little bit of credit.”

That gave Virgil pause, even if just for a moment. “You consider Logan your friend, even though he captured you?”

“Yeah, that was fast, Jay,” Remus commented.

Janus shrugged uncomfortably. “W-well, he was nice to me,” he said. “Except for the kidnapping part. And he didn’t make fun of my panic attacks, or for needing Patton, and he apologized for, um—” Janus cut himself off, flushing red. “And he’s comfy to sleep on,” he finished instead. “S-so, yeah! Logan’s my friend!”

Logan grinned, reaching down to pick Janus up again. Before he could, though, Virgil snatched his son up. “Logan, no,” he scolded.

“Daaad,” Logan protested, wriggling uncomfortably.

“That one’s got a knife,” Virgil said, looking at Remus. “I don’t want you touching them, you might get hurt.”

Logan scowled, still squirming. His wriggling tail struck Roman square across the chest, knocking him on his back and the breath from his lungs. Logan quickly pulled it up. “Sorry.” 

Remus helped Roman back up, keeping a wary eye on the two giant nagas. 

Virgil lifted Logan higher, putting him on his back in a position rather similar to piggyback. Logan’s tail coiled around his dad’s waist, and he wrapped his arms around Virgil’s neck and shoulders, looking over one shoulder at the humans. Virgil settled down so he didn’t tower over them quite so much.

“Will you promise not to send other humans after us, if I let you go?” he asked.

“Definitely.” 

“A hundred percent.” 

“We’re not  _ monsters _ .”

Virgil considered it a moment longer. “Very well. You may leave, but get out of our woods, and don’t bring other humans back.”

“Yes sir!” Roman nodded eagerly and started to tug Janus back towards the entrance of the cave. Remus followed without hesitation.

“Dad?” Logan asked.

“Hm?”

“It’s getting late. By the time they get back to the clearing all their stuff’s in, the sun will have set. Can they spend the night?”

Virgil glanced up at the mouth of the cave. Judging by the position of the shadows, it  _ was _ getting quite late. The humans, and Patton, glanced back and realized the time. 

“Uh, we’ll be fine,” Roman said nervously. “We’ve got flashlights.”

“Please?” Logan added, staring at Janus. “They’re not very big. They could get hurt by themselves. What if they get eaten by bears?”

Virgil sighed. “Alright. They can stay, for safety purposes.” 

The four of them shared a glance. Roman looked the most nervous. Remus kept glancing between the mouth of the cave and the nagas, but Janus and Patton seemed to be considering it. Roman mouthed a firm ‘no’ at them, but Janus shrugged a bit and nodded slightly at the giant naga. 

“You promise not to eat us?” Remus challenged. “And we’ll be able to grab our sleeping bags or something first?”

“I won’t eat you,” Virgil agreed. “Why do you need bags?” 

“I don’t know about y’all, but sleeping on rocks doesn’t help my back problems.” Remus rolled his shoulders.

“We have soft pads to lie on, and the sleeping bags are to keep warm,” Janus explained. “We also have food, and clean clothes, and other provisions.” 

Virgil sighed again. “I’ll escort you back to your clearing to get your things,” he offered.

The four of them exchanged glances again, then nodded. With luck, they might even be able to convince the giant naga to leave them at their campsite.

Virgil slithered over to them. Reaching up to his shoulder, he pulled Logan off, setting him on the cave floor again a few yards away. Then he picked up Janus and Patton together. The twins braced themselves to be lifted next. Remus squeezed his eyes shut, but when nothing happened, he opened them again.

Virgil handed Janus to Logan. “You two behave while I’m out,” he said. “Patton’s in charge until I get back.” His gaze slid to the other adult, so much smaller than himself. “Patton, I trust you can watch over our kids?”

Flustered, Patton nodded, squeezing Janus’s shoulders slightly.

Virgil picked the twins up next, one in each hand. “Alright, let’s go, then,” he said.

“Wait, why are Janus and Patton staying here?” Roman protested.

“I’m going to be carrying all your things back to the cave anyway; it’ll be easier with one less human,” Virgil answered, already heading out. “In addition, he provides additional security that the two of you won’t try anything. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that one of you has a knife.”

“I thought you didn’t want a human alone with your son,” Remus said, trying and failing to find a comfortable position.

“I have decided to trust Janus, and Patton seems like a very capable parent.”

Remus looked across the gap between them. He mouthed, ‘Parent?’

Roman shrugged.


	6. Chapter 5: Courtship?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary:** A misunderstanding is brought to light, and Janus is embarrassed again. Twice, actually.
> 
> Also, Logan gets to do a bit more science, and the twins pack up camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/contains:** Embarrassment, mentioned theft, very brief nudity

Logan settled on the ground, putting Janus down on his coils. It was similar to how he and his dad would often sit together, except that Janus didn’t have a tail, only his little legs. It was hard for the young naga to stop staring at the human.

Janus leaned back on his hands, looking up at Logan. He grinned. “Guess it’s just us for a while, huh?”

“I suppose so.” Logan blinked a few times, trying to sort his thoughts. The confession of attraction before Janus had napped earlier was still on his mind. The whole thing had left Logan very confused. They’d scarcely known each other for an hour at the time, and Janus had been afraid of him for a large portion of that. Not to mention that Logan wasn’t currently looking for a potential mate, as he felt he wasn’t quite ready. But how should he say so?

“So, Logan, what do you do around here for fun?”

Maybe it was a human thing to just court whomever they felt like, even near strangers. Logan tried to think how to refuse Janus without offending him. He decided to be blunt. “Janus, if you want to court me, you’re going to have to ask my dad for permission first.” And there was no way Logan’s dad would give a _human_ permission to court Logan, so that would take care of it.

Janus sat bolt upright, eyes widening. “ _Court you_!?” he repeated. “I’m just making small talk!”

Logan paused once more, even more confused than before. After he collected his words, he managed to speak. “But when we were both within my dad’s brood pouch, you told me that you loved me.”

“I— what?” Janus spluttered. “When?”

“When you were explaining to me the meaning of ‘Night’ within the context you used it in, you told me that it included a declaration of love!” Logan said. “And then you said it to me again!”

“It— no!” Janus protested. “Not that kind! And I was half asleep! I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying.” He ran his fingers through his hair, momentarily lifting his hat to do so. “I say ‘Night’ to my moms and Patton, and to Roman and Remus, and yeah I love them, but I’m not trying to _court_ any of them!”

“I see.” Logan fell into thought. It _did_ make rather more sense for Janus to mean it in the platonic manner. “You were not considering me for a life partner?” Logan asked again, just to be sure.

“No!” Janus pulled at his hair again, and Patton moved to take his hand away, so he wouldn’t pull it out. Janus held onto the little naga instead. “I don’t even know you well enough for that yet! And besides, you’re too young for me. I’m practically an adult, gonna be one next year, and you’re still a kid. A big kid, sure, but a kid.”

Logan nodded firmly. “Understood. Thank you for clarifying. I did not wish to have you as a mate either, so I’m relieved to hear that I had misinterpreted.”

Janus made a mildly distressed noise, and Patton made soothing noises in response. Logan wanted to perhaps try to comfort Janus, but he wasn’t sure how to do so when he was the source of distress. He gave Janus a pat on the shoulder, but settled down by himself. “To answer your earlier question, I usually write, draw, or read. There is not much else to do.”

“What do you read?” Janus asked, his face still rather red. “Are there giant naga books?”

“No,” Logan said after a minute. “I read whatever my father is able to find. There are not many options, but I have a small collection of human books.”

“That is a crime.” Janus shook his head. “A smart noodle like yourself should be able to read whatever you want.”

“Stealing books is probably also a crime,” Patton added softly.

“Anything’s legal if the cops aren’t around.” Janus joked, shrugging a shoulder to gently jostle him.

“ _Janus_!” Patton scolded.

“I’m joking, Patt. Anyway, Logan, what if I could bring you some books? I dunno if you’d be able to keep them, but you could definitely borrow.” His eyes widened. “Ooh! There’s some big print ones at the library.”

“What’s a library?” Logan asked excitedly.

“Oh, buddy, I think you’ll love one if I could squeeze you through the door.” Janus paused. “Actually, it’s got pretty high ceilings… I think you probably _could_ fit. There’d just be the issue of scaring everyone else, and the fact that there’s no way your dad would let me bring you into town.” He shook himself. “Anyway, it’s a building just _full_ of books. Hundreds of them. And if you get a library card, they let you take books home with you for a few weeks. Then you gotta return them so someone else can read them, and you can check more books out.”

Logan sighed wistfully. “That sounds magnificent.” He grinned, thinking of all those books. Janus blinked at seeing the mouthful of very sharp teeth, but to his credit, he didn’t flinch.

“You’ve got quite the mouthful of chompers, huh?” Janus tilted his head slightly.

“Huh?” Logan paused, feeling his teeth with his tongue, immediately distracted. “Why, are yours different? May I see?”

Janus hesitated. “Okay, but be gentle,”

Logan nodded, leaning in to see more clearly. Janus opened his mouth.

“Oh my, they’re so flat!” And that was all the warning Janus got before the giant naga stuck his fingers in his mouth. “Could you open your mouth a little bit further?” Logan requested, applying just a little bit of pressure. Janus’s eyes widened, and he made a distressed noise around Logan’s fingers, hands coming up to slap at them. Logan pulled his hand back.

Janus closed his mouth, rubbing his jaw for a few moments. “That’s as far as it opens,” he said. “I can’t go any further, it hurts.”

“Oh. Apologies,” Logan said. He hadn’t meant to harm his new little friend. He should be more aware of his own strength around the little pair, and regretfully moved his hands back to his sides. Though he felt terrible about nearly hurting Janus, he also very much was regretting that he’d done so so early into his investigation. He wouldn’t blame Janus if he didn’t let Logan look into his mouth again, and he didn’t know if he’d get another chance to look at human teeth.

Janus was still rubbing at his jaw. Then he looked up at Logan again. “I’m not a snake, my jaw isn’t made to go back together easily after getting dislocated,” he said.

“Ah,” Logan said. He hadn’t anticipated that difference. “Again, my apologies.”

Janus shrugged a bit. “Yeah, well, you didn’t mean it, I guess. Just be more careful, okay?” And he opened his mouth wide again.

“I will be much more cautious.” Logan assured him, gratefully returned to the task at hand, examining Janus’s teeth.

\---

The journey down the mountain was considerably shorter than the journey up. Being carried by a hundreds-of-feet-long naga did that to one’s travel time. At the foot of the mountain, the twins called directions up at the giant naga. When they reached their campsite, it was still early twilight. Plenty of time to pack up, though the return trip might be in the dark.

“Let’s break down the tent first, and we’ll move from there.” Roman brushed himself off once he was back on his own feet. The lingering sensation of giant fingers clutched around his waist unnerved him.

Remus nodded. It would have been easier and faster with Janus’s help, but taking things apart was always easier than putting them together, and the twins made quick work of stowing the tent in its bag.

After that, it was mostly just putting things back in a bag or its container. They hadn’t done much unpacking before Janus had gone missing. Roman picked up the dropped book and brushed the dirt off before pocketing it.

Remus cast a regretful look at the firepit. They’d found plenty of brushwood, but it looked like they wouldn’t be getting a campfire after all. He pulled the wood out, kicking the pine needles back into the space they’d cleared. Soon, other than the pile of their gear off to one side, there was no sign that three teenagers had been intending to live here for the next two days.

They looked around their former campsite again, checking once more for anything they’d missed. Nothing.

The twins looked up at Virgil, who’d been watching silently the whole time.

“We’re ready to go,” Roman said, impressing himself with how steady his voice was. He was talking to a giant naga that had tried to eat him, and it didn’t tremble at all!

Virgil lowered his hands onto the ground, palms up. “Give me your things, then climb on,” he instructed.

The twins glanced at each other, then wordlessly moved to do as they were told. Remus hopped up onto Virgil’s hand, and Roman passed him their things, one at a time. Remus piled them, making sure to keep them on Virgil’s palm so they’d be easier not to drop. Then Remus hopped over to Virgil’s other hand and gave Roman a hand up. They sat down together, holding on to each other. There was enough room for both of them, but only just.

“Okay, we’re good.” Roman flashed a thumbs up at Virgil, and he tightened his grip on his brother.

“Don’t drop us,” Remus added.

“Don’t squirm and it shouldn’t be a problem.” Virgil sighed through his nose before lifting the pair up like they, and all their gear, weighed nothing.

Nobody said anything the whole trip back. Virgil didn’t need their directions anymore, and the twins couldn’t think of anything else to say. The sun had started setting, and though their increased altitude delayed its descent somewhat, by the time they reached the cave again, it was gone. Any lingering sunlight was cut off as Virgil entered the inky blackness of the cave. Before he’d gone far, though, they could see a glimmer of light deep in the cave.

“We’re back.” Virgil’s loud, rumbling voice rang out before either of the twins could speak.

“We’re here.” Patton called back. They went further in, and soon found the three of them. The light was coming from Janus’s phone flashlight, angled to illuminate a section of the cave floor, showing several tic tac toe games. Janus sat on one side of their current board, and Logan lay on the other. Patton was holding the phone. Janus drew a circle in one space with a blackened stick, which he then handed to Logan.

Roman pulled out his phone and flicked on the flashlight the second Virgil lowered him to the ground, using it to look around the cave.

“Oi, dummy, shine the light here, so we can get our stuff.” Remus slugged him in the arm. “I can’t see anything.”

“Jan, would you mind helping us unload?” Roman stepped back up onto Virgil’s hand to illuminate the pile of supplies.

“Uh, yeah, one sec.” Janus shuffled around for a second in the dark before Remus felt him grab his arm to steady himself. “Sorry, tripped.”

Patton tried to move Janus’s phone to help out. Or at least, that’s what they assumed happened. All they could see was the circle of light start to move toward them, wobble, and fall, racing back along the floor to its origin, where it vanished. Patton made a frustrated noise in the dark behind it, and a few moments later, there was light again.

It didn’t take the three of them long to unload Virgil’s hand, stacking their supplies more or less neatly against a wall of the cave.

“You know what would be really helpful right about now?” Remus asked, as Roman’s flashlight beam once more wobbled away from any useful direction. “Arson!”

“No,” Patton responded on reflex. “Let’s not set anything on fire.”

“Just some wood, Patdad.” Remus pulled out a keychain flashlight to see where he was walking. “A campfire so we can, a, see, and b, not freeze to death.”

“It _is_ pretty chilly in here.” Janus carefully picked Patton up and draped him around his shoulders. “And I’d hate to step on someone’s tail.”

“We should still ask.” Patton softly mumbled. “Virgil, would you mind if the boys started a small campfire? I promise that they can keep it under control.”

“Yup. I’ve done this a bunch of times.” Remus was already dragging out the bundle of wood from his stuff, flashlight secured in his mouth.

Virgil considered it for a moment before picking Logan up again. “Very well, but you need to be able to control it.”

“We’ll not let Remus go crazy.”

“’Shides,” Remus said around the flashlight clamped between his teeth. “’S not like th’ ground here’s that flammable.”

He arranged the sticks in a pile, smaller brush underneath to give him something to catch. Then Remus struck a match, dropping in into the nest he’d made for it. The fire caught, then spread. Remus threw his hands up victoriously. Turning the mini-flashlight off, he returned it to its place on his belt.

“Light! Finally!” Roman put his phone back in his pocket. “Oh, Janus, I found the book you dropped.” He handed it over to Janus, who gratefully pocketed it.

“Thanks Roman.” He sighed softly. “I kinda forgot about it in all the excitement.”

“Hey, Janus, can you introduce your friends?” Logan asked. “I never caught their names.”

“Oh, please let us introduce ourselves.” Remus bounced on his toes. “We got a bit together from drama camp a few months ago.”

“You did mention that.” Janus perched on a rock. “Go ahead, you nut cases.”

The twins brushed their clothes off and made minute adjustments, brushing fingers through their hair, tucking in a shirt.

“Introducing.” Roman started with a grandiose gesture. “The Prince twins. Prepare for trouble...”

“And make it double.” Remus grinned widely before bowing deeply at the waist. “Remus.”

“And Roman.” He copied the bow, arm outstretched behind him and all.

“At your service,” they finished in unison.

Janus groaned softly at the theatrics, while Patton gave very polite claps.

“Nice to meet you,” Logan said.

“You’re princes?” Virgil asked, sounding rather more interested than before.

“That’s our last name, yeah.” Roman bounced up. “It’s a beautiful coincidence that a dashing hero like me be born into it. I don’t know what was up with the stork though, since Remus came with.”

Remus gasped in mock offence and punched Roman in the arm. The pair started to wrestle, and Patton sighed softly. “Please break it up, boys.”

“In a minute,” Remus grunted, trying to pin Roman down.

“This is why I’m glad I only have one kid.” Virgil softly sighed before carefully separating the twins and setting them on separate rocks.

“I think I would have liked to have a brother,” Logan said thoughtfully, looking at Janus.

“Yeah, don’t diss on having siblings!” Remus said, hopping down from the rock Virgil had set him on.

“Okay, kids, it’s getting late,” Patton said. “How about you start getting ready for bed?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, Dad,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. But he went to the pile of packs, pulling the sleeping gear out. He tossed Remus’s at his head, but handed Janus’s directly to him. While the two giant nagas settled down together deeper in the cave, the three humans unrolled their mats and spread their sleeping bags out on top, with Janus in the middle. Then they fetched their pajamas from their backpacks. The twins changed shamelessly in the open(ish) air, but Janus just sat awkwardly on the middle of his mat, staring down at the bundle of soft yellow cloth in his hands.

“What’s the matter, Jay?” Remus asked, pulling his sleeping shirt over his head. He normally didn’t wear one, but keeping warm was more important on a camping trip.

Janus looked up, a very uncomfortable expression on his face, and said nothing.

“ _Oh_ ,” Remus said. “Right.” If they’d been at their campsite, Janus would have gotten changed in the tent, while the brothers waited outside. Now, with the tent still in its bag, that was obviously not an option. “Uh. Gimme a minute.” He thought, brow scrunching. Then he perked up again.

Remus took his sleeping bag, unzipping it all the way. Then he grabbed Roman’s, doing the same to it. They were the same brand, identical other than their color, and it took him only a few moments of fiddling to get them attached to each other along the zippers, not unlike how the jacket-lining of a three function coat attached to the rest. Remus held the finished product aloft proudly. He had created a cloth tube, closed off at one end.

“Think this’ll be enough space?” he asked.

Janus gave him a confused look, so Remus stood. He held the joined sleeping bags by the foot, so that their top brushed the ground. “Roman, c’mere, help me hold it.”

Roman came over. It took a little bit of readjusting, but soon their hands were equidistant on the top of the bags, so that they fell in more or less a square shape.

Janus understood now. He came over. “Thank you,” he said softly, lifting the lower edge of the cloth to get inside.

“Of course,” the twins chorused. They continued to hold the impromptu changing room in place for several minutes, while Janus changed in the dark. A few times, he bumped against the cloth, making it bulge outward briefly, but they didn’t comment on that.

Finally, Janus was done. He lifted the cloth again and came out, now wearing his pajamas instead.

“Do you wanna leave them zipped together?” Remus asked. “We could be conjoined twins for a night.”

Roman made a face. “Ugh, no. There’s a reason we don’t share a bed at home anymore, you squirmy starfish.”

“Blanket hog,” Remus retorted.

They separated their sleeping bags, returning to their previously determined spots, and settled in.

“Night,” Roman said.

“Night, dorks,” Remus answered.

Janus grinned. “Night,” he agreed. Then he sat up, looking over at where the giant nagas had settled down together, Logan within Virgil’s protective coils. “Night, Logan! Goodnight, Virgil!” he called.

Logan’s head popped up. “Night, Janus!” he called back excitedly.


	7. Chapter 6: Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibling shenanigans with Patton as a secondary victim. Virgil realizes that his son isn't a baby anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/Contains:** intentionally frightening one's brother, potentially dangerous prank, harmless but kinda major misunderstanding left uncorrect

By the time Virgil woke up again, the fire had burnt itself out. However, since the sun had risen, plenty of light was streaming into the cave again through the various openings in the roof. Virgil looked over the cave, and its current occupants.

Logan lay draped across his father’s lap, somewhere between slumber and full wakefulness. The three humans were still asleep in their ‘sleeping bags’. Remus was snoring, Roman had snuggled down into the bag so that he wasn’t visible as anything other than a cloth-covered lump, and Janus had an arm thrown across his face to block out the ray of sunlight covering him. Patton lay curled up on Janus’s chest in the middle of that sunbeam.

A small smile worked its way onto the giant naga’s lips. He felt strangely content, despite the multiple humans in his home. It seemed he had grown a little attached to the young humans and the tiny naga. Maybe he wouldn’t be tossing them out immediately when they woke up. They could stay a little while longer.

Suddenly, Remus sat bolt upright. “Llama no!” He shook his head. “Where……. Oh cave. Naga. _Giant_ nagas.”

“Good morning, Remus.” Virgil shifted his head where it rested on his arms. “Sleep well?”

Remus yawned so wide that Virgil thought he’d unhinge his jaw. “Yeah. Weirdly enough, being right next to a couple giant nagas who could swallow me whole didn’t keep me up at all.”

Virgil chuckled. “Logan’s not big enough yet to eat humans whole,” he said.

“So he’d need to bite pieces off? Cool.” Remus stretched and got out of the ‘sleeping bag’, kicking it off him into a pile by his feet. Digging briefly through the bag next to him, he pulled out some articles of clothing, swapping them for the ones he was currently wearing. Those he dropped carelessly in a pile on top of the mat he’d slept on. Why humans insisted on so many different clothes, Virgil would never know. “Hey, Roman, wake up.” He stepped over Janus, nudging the lump that was Roman with a foot.

Roman grunted and squirmed, but didn’t get up.

With a sly grin, Remus leaned back over Janus and poked Patton. “Want to help me get Roman up?”

Patton stirred and lifted his head. “Be nice to your brother.”

Remus hefted the little naga up. “C’mon, you’ll both be fine, and it’ll be funny.” He unzipped Roman’s bag and threw back the top, exposing the curled up Roman. Remus dumped Patton on Roman’s chest and quickly closed the sleeping bag back up.

Roman shrieked, thrashing wildly. A few seconds later, he had vacated the sleeping bag, and was standing several feet away with wide eyes, breathing heavily. Remus doubled over laughing.

Patton slithered out of Roman’s sleeping bag, looking sternly up at Remus.

“That wasn’t funny, Remus!” Roman yelled, glaring at his brother.

“It was _gold_.” He cackled, stooping to pick Patton up again. “Thanks for the help, Patdad.”

“You are _not_ welcome,” Patton said.

Janus stirred. “Wha’s all the yelling about?”

“Remus put Patton in my sleeping bag,” Roman said, pouting. “I thought it was a regular snake.”

“Re _mus_!” Janus scolded, looking around for Patton. Seeing him in Remus’s arms, he sat up and held out his hands for him. “Roman could have squished Patton, don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” Remus said, giving Patton back to Janus. The little blue naga slithered from Remus’s arms to Janus’s, returning to his customary position coiled around Janus’s shoulders. “You’re not hurt, are you, Patton?”

Patton sighed. “No,” he said. “But don’t do that again.”

There was certainly an entertaining dynamic in the little family, Virgil thought. Probably a large portion of it had to do with the unusual makeup. While adoption was not completely uncommon among his kind, he’d never heard of a naga adopting _humans_ before. Much less _three_ . But maybe things were different with the miniature nagas. The two older boys didn’t seem to take their father very seriously, either, though they clearly did respect him. Perhaps because they were bigger than him, they thought they could get away with more? Or perhaps it had something to do with Patton’s obvious favoritism towards Janus? They didn’t _seem_ jealous, though. In fact, they both seemed very fond of Janus as well. Perhaps it was just standard teenage rebellion. Hopefully Logan didn’t go through such a phase when he got to be their age.

Still, they seemed like a happy, if weird, family. Virgil decided not to question it.

“Good morning.” Virgil blinked lazily. “Is every morning like this?”

“Hardly.” Janus harrumphed and started to get his clothes together. Roman recovered finally from his shock and started to search for his own clothes. Like Remus, Roman changed casually, but Janus ducked back inside his sleeping bag, squirming around inside it for several minutes. When he emerged again, he was wearing the fresh outfit.

Despite the rough beginning to waking up, the little family gathered back together, hauling their bags between them before pulling out food.

It was about this time that Logan started to wake back up. He yawned loudly and glanced around. When his gaze settled on the humans, he woke more quickly and climbed out of Virgil’s nest.

“Good morning.” He grinned and settled down near them. They happily returned the greeting, and Roman even moved to make room for Logan to sit.

Internalizing a sigh, Virgil lowered his head onto his arms again. Logan was quite lonely up on the mountain all the time. He’d never even seen another naga besides Virgil. Most animals were terrified of him — rightly so, given that they were his prey. Every other human he’d only caught a fleeting glimpse of or nearly been hurt by. He was so happy to have company, to have someone who called him a friend.

Virgil settled a hand thoughtfully on top of his empty brood pouch. He’d been fiercely protective of Logan from the day he’d found his egg, abandoned and alone. Logan had been so small and helpless then. Now it seemed he was too big to fit inside of Virgil’s brood pouch, to be easily protected. He didn’t like to admit it, but maybe it was time he loosened his control over his son, just a little. It might do Logan good, to have a few friends near his own age, even if they _were_ humans.

Slowly, Virgil lifted his head to speak, but his stomach told him he needed to start his hunt. He briefly shut his mouth, but Logan had glanced up at him, and so had Roman at the noise. “I’m going to go hunt. Logan… Stay here with your friends. Don’t get into trouble.”

The lights in Logan’s eyes brightened and he nodded eagerly. “Thank you, Dad. Good luck with the hunt!” The excited wiggle that went all the way down to the tip of his tail brought a smile to Virgil’s face before he turned to leave.

“Be careful. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”


	8. Chapter 7: Scientific Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finally gets to do an intensive study on a willing subject.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings/contains: extended non-sexual non-explicit nudity, an awkward and not fully comprehensive explanation of what ‘transgender’ means (explained by a cis character, but written (mostly) by a trans author)

“Hey, Remus, you wanna see the tic-tac-toe tournament Logan and I had last night?” Janus asked, soon after Virgil had left.

“Sure!” Remus said brightly. He followed Janus across the cave, and before they got far enough away that their voices were not easily audible, Roman could hear Janus start telling Remus all about the different sized boards they’d used when they’d tired of the standard three-by-three.

It was just Roman and Logan, now. Roman looked up at the giant naga. Logan looked back at him, with that curious expression he often got. Roman let him do it for about a minute before he broke the silence himself. “What’s on your mind, big guy?”

Logan took a moment to gather his thoughts. “You and Remus,” he started slowly, “do not have your arms covered.”

Roman glanced at his brother. They were both wearing T-shirts, and Remus had shoved the sleeves of his up over his shoulders so it resembled a tank top. Roman looked back up at Logan. “Nope.”

“Janus has his arms covered,” Logan continued.

“Yep.” Roman didn’t need to look at Janus to confirm that. Janus always wore long-sleeved shirts.

“Why?”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Janus likes being covered up more,” he said, wondering where this was going.

“Yesterday, in the pursuit of knowledge, I asked him to remove his clothes,” Logan said. “He-”

“You asked Janus to _strip_?” Roman interrupted, eyes wide.

“Yes,” Logan said. “He turned very red in the face and refused.”

“ _Yeah, I bet!_ ”

“Patton explained that humans do not like to allow others to see them without their clothes on,” Logan continued.

Roman nodded. “Janus especially. Even Ree and I haven’t seen him shirtless, or even in a tank top or shorts, and we’ve been friends for years.”

Logan paused. “Is that out of the ordinary?”

Roman wiggled his hand in the “maybe-so” gesture. “Eh. Everyone’s different. Why’d you wanna see Jan naked, anyway?”

“As I said, the pursuit of knowledge. Our bodies are very similar in shape from the waist upward, but below, they are quite different. I wish to know the specifics, and the cloth covering makes that difficult.” Logan was silent for a moment, then asked, “Would _you_ be willing to remove your clothes?”

Roman squirmed a bit. “Not if you’re going to be _looking_ ,” he said uncomfortably. “But you know who has no shame? Remus.” Turning, he yelled across the cave. “HEY, BUTTFACE!”

“WHAT?” Remus yelled back.

“C’MERE!”

“WHY?”

“’CAUSE!”

“’CAUSE WHY?”

“REASONS!”

Remus rolled his eyes in an exaggerated gesture that was designed to let Roman know he’d done so, even from across the cave. He turned briefly to the other two, said something, and then jogged over.

“What?” Remus asked again, when he was within normal conversation range.

“Take your clothes off,” Roman told him.

Remus’s eyebrows went up. So did his hands, to grab the collar of his shirt and pull it up over his head. “Why?”

“Logan’s curious about human anatomy,” Roman explained.

“Ah.” Remus unbuttoned his pants. They joined his shirt on the cave floor, and a second later, he dropped his underwear on top of the pile. “You couldn’t have picked a better model,” he said, flexing.

“Yeah, have fun, you two.” Roman chuckled. 

Logan leaned forward eagerly. “May I pick you up?” he asked.

“Sure!” Remus said cheerfully. Logan, unlike his father, wasn’t big enough to lift him in just one hand, so he picked Remus up with a hand under each arm. Adjusting his coils under and around himself, Logan set Remus on one of them. Remus took a moment to get his footing on the living, curved surface, then grinned up at him again.

“Are you a representative sample of humanity?” Logan asked, grabbing his notepad and writing stick.

“Uh,” Remus said. “Come again?”

“Would any human of your age look about the same as you?” Logan clarified.

“Oh.” Remus shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I probably look like any other cis guy.”

“Wonderful.” Logan made a note on the top of his page. “Now we may begin.” 

Logan leaned in close to his face, murmuring under his breath about eye shape. While Logan was getting a good view of Remus’s, Remus was able to see every detail of Logan’s much larger eyes. Most noticeably, the lack of whites. Logan’s eyes were a solid blue, just barely lighter than his tail, cut only by a vertical slit pupil. As Remus watched, the black slits widened.

“You have cat eyes,” Remus blurted.

“I believe they are more similar to common snakes than they are felines. Especially given the other things I have in common with snakes.” Logan smiled, making more notes. This, of course, meant that he stopped looking at Remus for the time being.

“They’re beautiful,” Remus said, wishing Logan would look at him again so he could keep staring into his pretty snake eyes.

That made Logan pause, and he glanced over at Remus. “Thank you. Your eyes are… interesting.”

Remus laughed. “You don’t _have_ to return the compliment,” he said. “You can just let me tell you you’re pretty.”

Logan shook his head. “No, I mean it. Your eyes are interesting. Your irises are smaller, even proportionally, and I am curious as to why. That would mean your pupils cannot dilate nearly as far, and— how is your night vision?”

Remus shrugged. “Okay I guess. Better than some people.”

“Hm,” Logan said, tapping his stick thoughtfully against his chin. “Perhaps we can experiment later.” He leaned in close again. “Open your mouth, please.”

Remus obliged. Logan peered inside. “Very similar to Janus’s,” he murmured, starting to pull away. Then, sharply, he looked back. Logan leaned in even closer, so that his eye was less than a foot from Remus’s open mouth, and peered inside. “There is something _shiny_ in there!”

“Uh, yeah,” Remus said. Logan pulled back. “That would be a gold cap.”

“Why do you have a… a ‘gold cap’ in your mouth?” Logan asked, stick poised to write.

“Broke my tooth a while ago,” Remus explained. “The cap’s to make sure it doesn’t get infected or whatever, and that I still have a tooth-shaped something to chew with.”

“The damaged tooth is still in your mouth?” Logan scribbled quickly. “Why did you not remove it?”

Remus shrugged. “It’s one of my adult teeth, I’m not getting a replacement. Most of the tooth is still good. Better to put a cap on it than a whole gold tooth.”

Logan’s stick froze. “What do you mean, you’re not getting a replacement?” he asked. “Do humans not grow new teeth in when they need them?”

“Nope.” Remus shook his head. “We get a set of baby teeth and a set of grownup teeth, and that’s it.”

Logan looked horrified. “Is that why your teeth are so dull?” he asked. “They’ve been worn down to nubs?”

“No, no, they’re supposed to be this shape,” Remus assured him. “Well, ’cept mine are a little crooked, I guess. Normally, they last plenty long, and we don’t need to replace them again.”

Logan nodded slowly, still looking disturbed. He wrote some more, then moved on. “You are unable to unhinge your jaw, correct?”

Remus nodded.

“What is the largest thing you can swallow?”

“Uh,” Remus said. He shrugged. “I think I read somewhere that humans can swallow anything they can fit in their mouths, but I dunno if that’s true. It’d hurt. I mostly chew my food.”

Logan nodded. “May I palpate your throat?”

“Uh, is it going to hurt?” He awkwardly touched his throat.

“I’ll be very gentle.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Remus pulled his hands away, lifting his chin. “Just don’t choke me.”

Logan nodded seriously. Bracing Remus’s back with one hand, he pressed the fingertips of the other into his throat. Remus held very still, barely breathing, not wanting to so much as twitch and risk Logan breaking something. Logan moved his hand around, feeling all over Remus’s throat. After what seemed like a full eternity, he pulled away again.

“Thank you,” Logan said. “That was very informative.”

Remus rubbed at his throat with one hand. It still felt weird. “Yeah? Good.”

Logan grinned at him, showing off his own sharp teeth. His gaze trailed down Remus’s front. Logan tipped his head curiously to the side. “You have dots on your chest,” he said, poking one.

Remus knew, without looking, what Logan meant, but he looked anyway. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “Those would be my nips.”

“Nips,” Logan repeated.

Remus nodded. “You don’t have any ’cause you’re a snek,” he explained. “Hatched from an egg and all that.”

“Ah. They’re a mammal thing?” Logan seemed to understand now. “Those are your teats?”

Remus laughed. “That’s another word for ’em, yep!” He shrugged. “On guys they’re just decorative, though. Well. Cis guys. And some trans guys, depending.”

“Cis? Trans?”

Remus paused. “Oh yeah, I forgot, nagas don’t do the whole ‘gender’ thing like we do.” He squinted, trying to think how to explain this. “Okay, um, so humans are super weird about gender. It’s unnecessarily tied to ‘who does what to make a kid.’ It’s like… a bunch of extra crap, and so there’s terms and stuff for when you’re not what people would expect. Like, there are guy nagas who lay eggs, and girl nagas who don’t, and that’s perfectly chill and you don’t even have words for that cause it’s just normal and whatever. But humans make a big deal about that kind of thing, probably because guys and girls tend to look different, generally speaking, so if you’re a guy who could maybe possibly do the “girl” side of making a baby, or you’re a girl who could maybe possibly do the “guy” side, or if you’re a neither, then you’re trans, and some people don’t like that trans people exist, and I’ll fight them on that, cause they’re bigots. And if you’re not trans, then you’re cis, like me.”

Logan wrote quickly. “I see. That’s very… interesting.”

Remus nodded. “You can say it’s weird,” he said. “I won’t be offended.”

“It is a little strange, but it is interesting to know,” Logan admitted. “Moving along.” He lifted one of Remus’s arms, looking at it. “This, at least, appears to be very similar in structure to my own.” He pressed his palm to Remus’s. It completely engulfed his hand. “How fast do your fingernails grow?” 

“I dunno? It probably varies. And I have a bad habit of trimming them with my teeth instead of using a clipper, so I don’t even know how often I do that.”

“Mm-hm.” Logan paused to take a few notes, then returned to Remus. He tapped the non-writing end of his impromptu pencil against Remus’s stomach. “Could you explain this hole?”

Remus looked down. “My belly button?”

Logan quickly scribbled something down. “Yes. Is it a mammal thing as well?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Remus put his own finger inside his belly button for a moment, considering how to explain this. “You know I was born, right? Not hatched?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. I am familiar with the concept of live birth.”

“Okay, good. Do you know what an umbilical cord is?”

Logan shook his head.

“Okay, so before I was born, when I was in my mom’s belly— Roman was there too, by the way, we’re twins— anyway, in mom’s belly, we had to be connected to her to get nutrients and stuff, and the thing doing that is an umbiblical cord, and when we were born, the doctor cut it off, and that’s what a belly button is!”

Logan blinked at him. “Explain again,” he requested.

“We couldn’t eat before we were born,” Remus tried again. “So there was this tube, connected directly to our stomachs.” He poked his belly button again to indicate it. “And when we were born, we didn’t need the tube anymore, cause we can use our mouths to eat now. So the doctor cut it off, and tied it in a knot, and this is all that’s left of it.”

Logan nodded. “Your stomach is there?” he asked, momentarily distracted. “I had wondered, since you don’t have a tail for it to be in.”

Remus nodded, patting the outside of it with his hands. “Yep, here’s my guts!”

“Fascinating.” Logan set his notes aside for a moment to poke and prod at his middle. “All of your digestive system must be compacted in here.” 

Remus nodded, glancing around. Being a living anatomy model was actually more boring than he’d expected. His mind, prompted by the discussion of food, was starting to wander towards lunch and the fact that his feet were getting tired as Logan scribbled his observations in his notebook. 

“Can I sit? My feets hurt.” 

“Of course, of course.” Logan was squinting at something on the page. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Remus shrugged and settled down on top of one of Logan’s coils, stretching his feet out a little. His hands were braced a little against the dark blue scales, softly stroking them. They had a nice texture.

“Your feet have fingers.” Logan noted. 

“We call them toes,” Remus answered.

“Why do you have them?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno. Balance?”

“Hm.” Logan lifted Remus’s right foot, brushing his thumb curiously across the sole. His thumb alone was nearly as large as Remus’s foot, but not quite. Then Logan’s gaze traveled up Remus’s leg. “Do the leg elbows have a different name as well?”

“Knees,” Remus informed him.

Logan nodded, letting go of Remus to make a note of that. “I really appreciate you letting me do this,” he said. “When Patton explained that most humans don’t expose themselves to anyone besides their mates, I thought I’d never get this opportunity.” 

Remus laughed. “Glad my shameless nature came in handy.” He looked up at Logan, suddenly intrigued. “A giant naga boyfriend might be fun, actually,” he said.

“Remus,” Janus interrupted from somewhere behind him. “He’s a kid.”

Remus paused. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen,” Logan answered.

Remus nodded slowly. “I think I want my underwear back,” he said. “I shouldn’t be exposing myself to a child.”

Logan pouted, but he lifted Remus off his coils and set him back down next to his discarded pile of clothes. “Why?”

“It’s inappropriate,” Remus answered, picking his boxers off the top of the pile to put them back on. “And I may be fine with being generally inappropriate every day of the week, but I’m not a _creep_.”

“I don’t understand,” Logan said.

“For you, nudity is no biggie,” Remus said. He considered the pile of clothes, then headed back to his bag, digging through it. “You’re naked basically all the time, anyway. But for us, there is cultural _significance_ to being naked.” He found a pair of jean shorts and put them on. “Which means that, you being a kid, and me in that weird limbo of teenager-slash-young-adult, that means me being naked in front of you is creepy. Be even more so if I was a full adult.” He shrugged. “This amount of exposed skin is okay, though.”

“I see,” Logan said. The restriction didn’t seem to deter his want to study human anatomy, however. “May I look at your toes again?”

“Yeah, for a bit, I guess.” Remus came back and climbed up on Logan’s coils, lying down. “I’m getting kinda hungry and want to start thinking about making lunch.”

Logan lifted Remus’s foot, peering again at his toes. “They’re much smaller than your fingers,” he observed.

“Yup. They’re kinda useless little nubs.” Remus wiggled his toes. “But I’m used to them, so I think I’d look pretty weird without them.”

Logan nodded. “I think I’m satisfied with my observations, for now,” he said. “Thank you again for letting me study you.”

Remus grinned. “You’re welcome, kid.” He slipped off Logan’s coils, walking over to his twin and best friend. “So! What’s for lunch?”


	9. Chapter 8: Back to Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They return to the forest. Logan learns what glasses are and that he needs them. Patton does a boop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/Contains:** a bit of non-explicit animal gore, casual talk of terrifying other people

Virgil returned while the humans were sorting out their midday meal, and he carried a single deer for Logan.

“I tried for some rabbits, but they got away,” he said apologetically. “You’ll have to tear it up a bit.”

“That’s okay, Dad,” Logan said, accepting the deer. “Thanks.”

Remus watched with morbid fascination as Logan started to eat, tearing off large chunks of meat with his teeth and swallowing them whole. Roman and Janus both turned away with mild disgust, mixed with a healthy amount of fear.

Patton slithered across the gap onto Roman’s shoulder where the boys were sitting next to each other for comfort. “Maybe we should think about heading home,” Patton softly suggested. “I don’t want to put a damper on things, but we _are_ guests in their home and I feel like we’ll overstay our welcome if we stay another night.”

Roman grimaced. “Good point. Would _not_ want to do that.”

Janus nodded. “Let’s start gathering our things up. We kinda scattered them about this part of the cave.”

“Yeah, I’ll get started.” Roman stood up after he moved Patton back onto Janus. “ _Remus_ needs to pick up his clothes.” He nudged his twin with his foot.

“In a bit. I’m watching a real gore fest.” Remus shoved at Roman’s leg without taking his eyes off Logan.

With a dramatic eye roll, Roman started picking stuff up and packing them up. Janus rolled up the sleeping bags, and Patton picked up garbage and stuffed it in a bag. They’d tried to keep track of their garbage, but things didn’t always quite make the free throws to the bag.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Virgil asked softly.

“We want to be out of your hair by nightfall.” Janus picked up the trash bag and Patton once it was tied off. “We don’t want to intrude.”

Logan paused in the middle of devouring his deer. “What? You’re leaving?”

“Well, yeah,” Roman said. “In a bit. We don’t wanna stay longer than we’re welcome.”

“Can you come back and visit again?”

“Uh. Ask your dad.”

Logan turned his pleading gaze to Virgil. Virgil tried to look stern for a few moments, then nodded.

“As long as they don’t bring any other humans with them.” Virgil sighed softly. “And I trust you won’t be telling anyone about us.”

“Cool. We’ll see how quickly we can get back.” Roman gave Logan a thumbs up before finishing packing his bag. “I’m done here, how’s it going, Jan?”

“Nearly done.” Janus was putting things in his bag. “Remus, could you _please_ stop ogling Logan and pick up your clothes?”

“Fiiiine.” He hauled himself up to his feet. “I will pick up my clothes.”

Looking up at his new friend, who was nibbling sadly at his lunch, Janus asked, “Hey, Virgil?”

“Hm?”

“Are we still getting kicked out of the forest, or can we go set up our campsite again? We originally weren’t planning on going home until sometime tomorrow.”

Virgil glanced at Logan, then looked down at the small cluster of humans. “Would someone think it odd if you were to return today, instead?”

Janus nodded. “Yeah, for sure. My moms aren’t expecting to see me until, like, almost sunset tomorrow, they’ll definitely think it’s weird if I come home today.”

“Hmmm… Well, if it would make people suspicious of your early return… I suppose we ought to let you stay in the forest one more night.”

Logan perked up again, the tip of his tail wiggling happily. He finished off his deer, licking his fingers clean. “Do you need help carrying your things back down the mountain?”

“We don’t have anything we can’t handle, but, if you want, you could help us by carrying the tent.” Janus softly patted Patton’s hair, and the naga responded by nuzzling into his palm. “It’s kind of unwieldy.”

Remus had finally finished packing up his things and pulled the straps tightly. “I’d love to not have to lug that thing all the way back to the camp,” he agreed.

Logan nodded eagerly.

“Logan,” Virgil said sternly, and they all looked up at him. Logan curled in on himself a bit. “Don’t get seen by any other humans, and be home before sundown. Got it?”

Logan was still for several moments, eyes wide. Then he launched himself at his father, hugging him tightly. “Yes! Thank you, dad!”

Virgil patted him on the back. “You’re welcome. Go have fun with your friends.” He eyed the humans again, eyes narrowing. “You all take care of my son.”

“Y-yes, sir,” Roman stammered.

Remus gave a salute after he finished putting his pack on. “We won’t let anything happen to him.”

Patton had lifted himself up to have his elbows resting on Janus’s hat. “We’ll make sure he’s back by sundown,” he assured Virgil.

Happily, Logan gathered up his notebooks and writing utensil, putting them in his small shoulder bag. Then, after Remus pointed out to him which it was, he picked up the tent.

With no further ado, the five of them set off. Logan followed behind the little troop of humans, dutifully holding the tent in its bag.

On the way back to the clearing, Logan took the opportunity to observe the gaits of his human friends. He wanted to study how humans walked as a whole, but he also couldn’t help but notice that the three of them walked differently. Janus had a very steady and sure walk, keeping everything smooth and fluid for Patton around his shoulders, rather than bouncing around. Remus scrambled over anything in his way, and he walked with a loose swagger. Roman had a similar swagger to his twin, but it was more practiced, more firm, and he wouldn’t vault over a fallen log if he could just take a few steps around it. Remus, on the other hand, went out of his way a few times to jump over things that would not otherwise have been in his path.

It was certainly fascinating to watch.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the clearing and Roman took charge again, the nervous tension in his shoulders from the cave gone.

“Here, Lo, lemme have that tent,” Remus said, reaching up for it. Logan handed it to him, and then he got to observe the fascinating process of setting up a tent. All three humans worked together to do it, and in minutes, the cloth bundle was a hollow dome, holding itself aloft.

“Fascinating,” Logan said, extending a hand to poke at it. The cloth bent under his fingertip.

“Gentle, don’t break it,” Roman scolded lightly. Logan pulled his hand back again.

“Hey, you’re tall,” Remus said, looking up at Logan. He held up a rope. “Think you could string this over a branch for us?”

Logan took the rope, and, following Remus’s instructions, draped it over a branch about fifteen feet above the ground. Remus tied it to a bag, hoisting it up. Logan poked at it curiously.

“Keeps the bears from being able to reach,” Remus explained. “Doesn’t do much against giant nagas, I guess.”

“This time, let’s not do something stupid like going skinny dipping in the lake.” Janus settled down on a log, removing his hat to run his fingers through his hair. He left it off for the moment, twirling it in his fingers.

“Says the guy who got himself kidnapped by a giant nerd.” Remus nudged Janus in the arm before flopping down beside him.

“Says the mannequin for the anatomy lesson,” Roman retorted, seating himself on Janus’s other side. He fondly ruffled Janus’s still uncovered hair, and then Patton’s.

Logan reached into his bag to grab his notebook. If they were going to be still, he might be able to sketch them. He curled himself comfortably around a nearby tree and began to draw.

They were not, it turned out, going to be still. Sure, they all remained seated in place, but as they chatted, they gestured expressively with their arms. Logan was barely able to get more than a few vague sketches. He wasn’t about to tell them to stop moving, but he was using slightly more pressure than necessary while he drew. As a result, the lines were thicker and darker than he wanted.

“Yo, Logan!” Remus suddenly shouted. “What’cha doin’ over there?”

Logan paused, looking at his page. “I am… attempting to sketch the three of you,” he said. “I’m afraid it isn’t very accurate.”

“Ah, that explains the blep.”

Logan blinked, looping up at them again. “‘Blep’?”

“Yeah.” Remus tapped his lower lip. “You had your tongue stuck out, looked like you were concentrating real hard.”

“I hadn’t realized I was doing that. I will refrain from doing so in the future.” Logan thoughtfully touched his lower lip, the same way Remus had, before returning to his drawing.

“Naw, you don’t have to do that!” Remus protested. “It’s cute!” He looked at the others. “C’mon, guys, back me up here. Concentration bleps are adorable, right?”

“Duh,” Roman answered.

“Makes me wanna boop your nose!” Patton agreed.

“Very adorable.” Janus put his hat back on. “I love seeing Patton blep when he’s trying to sew.”

Logan felt his cheeks warm, and he raised his book a little more. “What is… ‘boop’?” he asked, trying to turn the conversation away from his apparent adorableness.

Patton gasped. “You’ve never been booped?” he asked. Logan shook his head. “Well, that just won’t do! Come over here, kiddo!”

Setting his book aside, Logan unwound from around the tree and slithered closer. Patton reached up toward him with both arms.

“Gotta put your face in range, kiddo,” he instructed.

Logan leaned down. Patton was, as usual, on Janus’s shoulders, so Logan lowered himself almost to lying, so that he and Janus shared an eyeline. With his face only a foot or so from Patton, he was able to see the tiny naga much more clearly. Patton had little brown speckles, he now noticed, both on his face and on his shoulders.

Patton reached out a hand, pressing it against the tip of Logan’s nose. “Boop!” he said.

Logan’s eyes widened, and he felt an odd warmth in his chest.

“Gah, I should have recorded that!” Roman clutched his chest dramatically. “That was absolutely adorable!”

Logan barely heard him. He stared at Patton in surprise. How had such a little gesture felt like it meant so much? Perhaps it was the pure affection in Patton’s voice as he did it. “Do it again,” Logan requested.

“Wait, wait!” Roman pleaded, and out of the corner of his eye, Logan saw a flurry of movement. But he didn’t turn to look. This was too important. “Okay, go.”

Patton patted the tip of Logan’s nose again. “Boop!”

Logan grinned, his tongue flicking out to taste the air between them. “I like being booped,” he decided.

Patton grinned happily back at him. “Good!”

Satisfied, Logan returned to his spot curled comfortably around the trunk of a tree. It was not the same tree as before, but that was fine. He picked his notebook back up and flipped to a drawing he had done of Patton earlier and attempted to add the speckles to their proper places. As he drew, he became aware that he was ‘blepping’ again, but he permitted himself to do so. If it led to such things as boops, Logan was willing to be a bit adorable.

“Hey, Logan?” Janus called. Logan looked up. “Why do you always hold things close to your face to look at them?”

“Because they’re easier to see,” Logan said, a bit puzzled as to why he was asking. This was just the way of things.

“So, you can’t see things very well if they’re at a distance?”

Logan shook his head. “No, they’re blurry. Why?” A thought struck him. “Are… you able to see things far away?”

Janus nodded. “I think you might be nearsighted. Patton’s nearsighted too, we get him special naga contacts. If we can convince your dad to let us take you into town, we should visit an optometrist and see about getting you some glasses.”

Logan blinked. “I have no idea what any of that means, but I very much would like to,” he said. “Say it again.”

“You can only see things clearly if they’re close to your face,” Janus said again. Logan nodded. “We call that being ‘nearsighted’. Some people are farsighted instead, and sometimes people can see stuff clearly wherever.”

Logan felt his jaw drop. It took several seconds for him to be able to speak again. “Really?”

All four of them nodded at him.

“And they make these things, called ‘glasses’, to let people see better if their vision isn’t great,” Janus continued.

“That sounds like a falsehood, but okay.”

“No, it’s real.” Janus turned to the twin on his left. “Roman, can you get your reading glasses out?”

Roman scoffed. “I didn’t bring my reading glasses camping!”

Janus frowned. “Patton, would you take out a contact to show him?” he asked.

Patton shook his head, eyes wide. “It’d get dirty,” he protested. “I didn’t bring saline solution; I wouldn’t be able to put it back in until we go home.”

Janus sighed. Looking up at Janus, he shrugged. “Okay, I guess you’ll have to take it on faith. There’s a bunch of complicated science behind it I think you’d like, but basically it bends the light so the wearer can see clearly.”

Logan made a few notes in the margins of the page. “And you think it would be possible to get me some so that I can see more clearly?”

Janus nodded. “Yeah. I mean, it’d be kinda complicated, probably, and we’d definitely have to get you in town to get a prescription, and I dunno how tricky it’d be to get them to make ’em big enough, but it’s at least a possibility.”

Logan nodded. “What was the name of the place we would visit, again?”

“Optometrist,” Janus repeated. Logan wrote it down, giving his best guess at spelling it.

Remus laughed quietly. “You’d traumatize the poor receptionist. She’s so scared of snakes she gets ansty even around just Patton, even though he’s a smol adorable harmless little noodle. Can you imagine how she’d react if you brought a _giant_ naga in? Especially if Logan’s dad insisted on tagging along to make sure his kid was safe.”

“He’d circle the building.” Roman shook his head slightly, grinning. “They’d make him wait in the parking lot, I don’t think he’d even _fit_ inside.”

Janus shuddered slightly. “Everyone would freak out.”

Remus was still shaking with mirth, laughing a bit louder now. “Yeah, I bet! We’d probably have to call off animal control.”

“‘Don’t worry, everyone,’” Roman said, putting on a voice. “‘The giant nagas are with us. We’re just here for a pair of glasses. No need to panic.’”

Janus chuckled, looking up at Logan again. “Yeah, if we ever bring you into town, we probably oughta convince your dad to stay behind.”

“He won’t like that,” Logan said, but despite that, he wished to be in a human town. Get to see what humans did there, and perhaps even participate. And it wasn’t just the possibility of having glasses that was tempting. He’d not forgotten the “library” Janus had mentioned yesterday. “Would the humans at the ‘library’ panic as much as the ones at the ‘optometrist’?”

His new friends paused, considering it.

“I dunno, actually. They are all pretty chill people. They deal with Remus all the time.” Roman reached behind Janus to nudge his twin. Remus swatted his hand in return.

“They deal with you, too,” he retorted.

“Yeah, but I’m a pleasure,” Roman answered with a grin.

“ _Sure_ ,” Remus said.

“I’m friends with one of the librarians,” Patton chimed in. “I don’t think he’d be scared of you. He’s not intimidated by _anything_. And he doesn’t treat me weird or anything for being a naga. He’s quite sassy, actually, he might get a kick out of seeing a giant naga who loves to read.”

Logan made a note about that as well. It was certainly fascinating.

“Is that the guy who kicked us out for fencing in the stacks?” Remus asked.

Patton sighed. “ _Yes_ , that’s the one.”


	10. Chapter 9: Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end. Packing up and heading home, everyone a little changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings/Contains:** keeping secrets, mentions of PTSD

“Thanks for helping us pack up; it definitely went a lot faster.”

Logan pouted. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“Yeah, me too, kiddo.” Janus leaned against his newest friend. “But if we don’t, people will start looking for us.”

“Don’t look so down!” Remus called from across the clearing, where he was stuffing a few last items into his pack. “We’ll be back soon. Even if we can’t spend a whole weekend out in the woods that often, we can come visit every now and then.”

Logan’s pout lightened slightly. He picked Janus up, hugging him. “I’ll miss you.”

Janus patted Logan’s chest. “I’ll miss you too, big guy.”

“What? We don’t get hugs?” Roman teased, slinging his pack on.

“Wait your turn, Princey,” Janus mumbled without looking.

Logan hugged him for a few moments more, then set him down. Janus was barely out of the way before Remus barreled into Logan, squeezing his middle as tight as he could without being able to even get his arms halfway around.

“Don’t forget about us, snek boy.” Remus said, tilting his head back to look Logan in the eye.

“I won’t,” Logan assured him. He picked Remus up to hug him back, and Remus wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck instead, and tried to wrap his legs around Logan’s chest like an octopus. He held on as long as Logan would allow, but eventually was lowered to the ground again.

Roman came over next, lifting his arms. Logan scooped him up, holding him close in a hug. The backpack made it a little awkward, but Logan just adjusted his arms around it, petting Roman’s hair.

“Goodbye, Logan.” Roman whispered near his ear. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Logan gave Roman one more gentle squeeze, then reluctantly put him down.

“Bye, Logan,” Patton said, waving up at him from Janus’s shoulders. “It was nice meeting you!”

Janus laughed. “No it wasn’t. The rest was nice, though.”

Logan nodded, biting his lip.

“Hey,” Janus said, touching Logan on the hand. Logan looked over at him, and Janus gave him a gentle smile. “See you soon, kid.”

Logan smiled back, nodding. “See you soon.”

\---

Roman never thought he’d be so happy to see his beat up car. They’d taken longer to get out of the woods than they’d taken getting in. That excited energy about a weekend in the woods had been replaced with bone deep exhaustion.

“I have never been so happy to see her.” Remus sighed and hugged the door of the car while Roman unlocked the trunk. “What a weekend.”

Janus nodded and tossed his bag in once the trunk was up. “Shotgun. I want the air on my face.”

“Fine. Stick me in the back, I’ll hold Patton if he doesn’t mind.” Remus shoved his bag and the tent in among their other possessions. “Gimme the snek.” He extended his hands to Janus. “He’s too little to sit up front.”

“You don’t mind, do you, Patt?” Janus softly patted his head. “I really want to sit up front.”

Patton shook his head and slithered onto Remus’s arms, settling around his shoulders. “If you need me, I’ll be in the back.”

Roman climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the car up. Janus tapped on the passenger window, so Roman reached across the cab to pop the lock and let him in. The car — Destiny, Roman had named her — had a few problems, like that the electronic locks didn’t work for the passenger side door. Remus climbed in the back behind Janus’s seat and stretched his legs out. Patton slid down into his lap while he buckled in.

“Everyone in?” Roman sighed softly, finding a radio station. “You secure back there?”

“Yup.” Patton snuggled against Remus’s torso. “Let’s get on the road.”

Janus settled into the passenger seat, dropping his hat on his lap. He aimed the vents on his face and sighed with relief.

Roman pulled out of the gravel lot onto the road.

Remus stared out his window at the trees as Roman drove. While he’d been scared within an inch of his life, he’d also had such a fun time in the woods. He definitely would be missing the giant naga.

“Hey. Question.”

“Shoot.” Janus restrained a yawn, stretching his arms up over his head. His back popped, once, low on his spine.

“We’re not telling our parents, right?” Remus gestured vaguely out the window at the woods. “About all… that. Cause I dunno ’bout yours, Jan, but Ro’s and mine’d really freak out if they knew what we just got up to, even if it did turn out fine. Better than fine.”

“Yeah, mine probably would too.” Janus shrugged. “If we can ever get Logan's dad to okay a visit to town, though, my moms’d be furious to find out what happened on the news, so we’d have to tell them before that.”

“Fair.” Roman nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “But until then, no telling the parents?”

The other three nodded back. Patton, looking half asleep in Remus’s lap, commented, “Wouldn’t be the first secret I’ve kept for you boys.” He yawned, showing off his bitty sharp teeth for a moment, then settled down again against Remus’s stomach. “Might be the _biggest_ one, though.”

“You’re truly a master of comedy.” Remus sarcastically grinned down at the micro naga and gave him a tiny pat on the back.

\---

Virgil looked at his son. Logan was lying on the cave floor, flipping slowly through his notebook.

“You kids sure had a lot of fun together, didn’t you?” Virgil curled the tip of his tail around Logan’s.

Logan didn’t look up, though he allowed his tail to curl around his father’s in return. “M-hm.”

“Miss them already?”

Logan nodded, still looking at the book.

There was a long moment of silence. While he felt like he had a few more grey hairs from the ordeal, Virgil knew that Logan wanted friends — _needed_ friends, it was good for the kid to have friends his own age — and he didn’t mind so much now if they were human. But only those three humans. No more. Virgil didn’t _trust_ other humans.

“Me too,” Virgil ruffled his son’s hair. “I’m glad you made some friends,” he said.

“Me too,” Logan said softly. He still didn’t look up.

Virgil settled down on the floor next to him, resting his head on his arms. “Want to tell me about what you learned?” he suggested.

Logan brightened. Nodding, he quickly turned pages in the book, finding what he wanted to start with.

\---

It was a good thing, Janus reflected, that he was already seeing a therapist. Sure, Emile hadn’t had to help Janus through anything more difficult than a crush and some dysphoria, but they were comfortable with each other. Janus knew he could tell Emile anything, and he knew that Emile was trained to help with all sorts of things.

“Do-you-how-do?” Emile greeted cheerfully.

“Hi Emile.” Janus grinned. “I think I have trauma now.”

The therapist froze, butt halfway to his chair. “Say what?”

“I almost died on my campout, and it was really terrifying,” Janus explained. “It ended okay — turned out _great_ , actually, made a new friend — but I wanna make sure I don’t get PTSD from it, cause that would suck.”

“Ah,” Emile said, sitting down fully. “Yes, that sounds smart. Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin


End file.
